Someone Who Can Sympathize
by Baron Hausenpheffer
Summary: Ranma & Cheeky Angel Xover Ranma Saotome and Megumi Amatsuka are two very different people with a very similiar problem. How will they react to finding someone else who can relate to the problems of a suitorplagued genderbender? R&R, please!
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or Cheeky Angel.

Authors Note: This story takes place directly after Shampoo appeared in Ranma 1/2 (after she first appeared and before she erased Akane's memory) and right after Ichimonji showed up in Cheeky Angel. By the way, this story does **_NOT_** involve a Ranma-Megumi pairing. They're both guys, and the Baron don't bend that way!

Also, I would like to quickly recommend Cheeky Angel to those who haven't tried it. I've been a huge Ranma fan for years (it's still my favorite show), and felt a bit lost when it finally ended. I then happened upon Cheeky Angel, a series that is very similiar to Ranma 1/2, but with a style all its own. The stories are full of laugh-out-loud comedy, endearing characters, and the like. So, if you're in need of something to satisfy your "gender-bending martial arts romantic comedy" kick (gawd, we're weird...), then this series is DEFINITELY the way to go. Now, on to the story!

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_Prolouge_

Life has been rough for Ranma Saotome. Not only did his father take him away from home on a decade-long training journey at the young age of six, but then they had to go to THERE on their final training excursion before heading back. Without speaking a word of Chinese, Genma and Ranma traveled all the way to Jusenkyo, China, only to fall into two of the springs there. Normally, this just would've meant wet clothes, but it just so happened that the Jusenkyo springs had a powerful curse on them: those who fall in take the body of the last thing that drowned there! Genma emerged from the waters a giant panda, and Ranma crawled out a bosomy, red-headed girl. Good news: hot water allows them to change back. Bad news: cold water makes them transform back into their cursed bodies.

However, fate wasn't through toying with Ranma yet. Upon returning to Japan, Ranma discovered that his dad had arranged for him to marry Akane Tendo, the beautiful but tomboyish daughter of Genma's best friend Soun. The two didn't get off to a good start, and things have improved little since. Then, another fiancee reared her pretty head: Shampoo, the Chinese Amazon. Amazon law states that "if an Amazon is defeated by a male outsider, she must marry him, but if she is defeated by a female outsider, she must kill her." Ranma has accidentally beaten her in both forms. Since Shampoo doesn't realize that boy-Ranma and girl-Ranma are the same person, she wants him when he's a guy and wants him dead when he's a girl! The Kuno siblings complicate things even further. Swordsman Takewaki Kuno wants to kill male Ranma and date "the pigtailed girl" (female Ranma), while his sister Kodachi wants to date her "darling Ranma" and crush "that pigtailed she-demon". Go figure...

Ranma's suffering is completed by the appearance of Ryoga, a directionally-challenged rival of Ranma's who would honestly like him better six feet under. The natural dislike between them because of their rivalry in the martial arts has turned into bitter hatred because of Ryoga's undying love for Akane (he doesn't have the guts to tell her), and because Ranma accidentally caused Ryoga to fall into "the spring of drowned black piglet" at Jusenkyo. Ryoga's grudge is deep-set, and he won't rest until Ranma is defeated and Akane is his.

Constantly chased by battle-happy martial artists and lovesick suitors of both sexes, what's a half-boy, half-girl martial artist to do?

_Meanwhile..._

Megumi Amatsuka, a nine-year-old martial arts enthusiast and all-around rapscallion, had dedicated his life to becoming "the manliest man on earth." Unusually strong for someone his age, virtually unbeatable in combat, and with a rich family able to afford the best trainers, he seemed to be well on his way toward his goal. However, things aren't always what they seem... After saving a sorcerer from a group of local thugs, Megumi was rewarded by the old man with a mysterious book. When he and his gal-friend Miki opened the book, a genie popped out and offered to grant Megumi a wish! Despite Miki's pleading to shut the book, Megumi impulsively blurted out his desire to become the manliest man on earth; the genie was only too happy to oblige. Unfortunately, the genie was either hard of hearing or something of a "monkey's paw", because he had cast a spell turning Megumi into the "womanliest woman on earth"! In a fit of rage, Megumi tossed the book into the river. He (now she) quickly discovered that the genie had "rewritten history"; no one other than Miki ever remembered Megumi being a boy. Now, six years later, Megumi is the hottest girl in school, but can't (or won't) drop his/her tough talkin', punk stompin' ways!

If that's not enough, Meg is attracting boys left and right! Genzo Soga was formerly the baddest dude in town, but his overwhelming affection for Meg has made a bit of a softy out of him (as Meg would say, "he's changed from a mean, stupid idiot to a happy, stupid idiot"). Then there's Ichiro, a self-described average guy who is now willing to do above-average things for Meg's sake (and hopefully, her attention). There's also Yasuda (nicknamed "Glasses"), a kinda perverted little fellow who is nonetheless extremely intelligent and brave, on occasion. Finally, there's the new guy, Ichimonji. The ultimate gentleman, he scolded Meg for being vulgar when he first met her, but is now falling for her just as much as the others (as it so happens, he's an excellent fighter in his own right, and is perhaps the only one of Meg's suitors who could hope to defeat Genzo in a fight).

The four are very dedicated (the word "stalkers" might come to mind), and have even formed a fan club called "Megumi's Musketeers." Despite the fact that Meg has told them her secret, they are unsure about whether to believe her or not, and in any case want her to remain a gal.

With Miki's help, Megumi does her best to make do with "what is" while trying to somehow regain "what was."

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Sixteen-year-old Ranma and fifteen-year-old Megumi are both victims of cruel fate. Raised to be "men among men", they were both robbed of that dream by a single rash decision. If only Ranma had stopped to listen to the warnings of the Jusenkyo guide, if only Megumi had not made that hasty wish... Now, far from being the manliest men on earth, they are doing their best to be men at all. Carrying around broken dreams while trying to come to terms with an identity crisis is quite a load for the strongest of individuals; unfortunately, Ranma and Megumi have few people to support them in this.

Ranma's fiancees are too busy trying to marry him to care much, and Ryoga's bitter hatred for him overshadows any common ground their curses might provide. As for Megumi, the last thing in the world her "musketeers" want is for her to regain her manhood. Also, as much as Miki wants Meg to be happy, she honestly hopes that Meg stays a girl; she is afraid that when Meg becomes a guy again, their friendship will come to an end. As for family, Genma Saotome and Mr. Amatsuka are about the most dysfunctional fathers on the face of the planet. Thus, Ranma and Megumi must shoulder their respective curses alone, without anyone who could honestly understand their burden.

That is, until the day that the two met...

END OF CHAPTER 1

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That's it for the prolouge; it's mostly an introduction to the two series for those of you who aren't familiar with both. I'm going to try to update about once a week, maybe earlier this first time. I DESPISE unfinished fanfics, so never fear: this one will come to a good conclusion!

Please review this lil' teaser; the more substantial chapters will be here for your viewing pleasure soon enough! Until next time, my literate compadres!


	2. The Imperfect Storm

_CRACKOOOM!_

"Geez...beautiful weather." Megumi muttered sarcastically.

She wished now that she had not gone to the mall with Miki after school. Meg had seen on the news that morning that a storm was coming in the late afternoon, but she hadn't expected anything like THIS. The rain was coming down in torrents, lightning was flashing across the dark sky, and she could tell that the thunder was rattling the windows on the houses. The only good news was that Meg had remembered to bring her umbrella with her.

As she walked down the sidewalk, she looked left and right, half-wondering if Genzo would pop out of an alley with his general "HEY, MEG!".

"Ha ha ha! Wouldn't put it past him, that goon!" she laughed to herself. Just then, she felt something hairy brush against her ankle. "ACK!" She jumped backward in fright.

"_What was that? A rat?_" she thought.

Calming herself, Meg took a closer look. She saw right away that it wasn't a rat (Meg: "_Whew..._"), but was was it? At first glance it looked like a piece of red rope sticking out of the dark alley, but it upon closer inspection, it looked a little like a braid... Taking courage, she gave the braid a tug, bringing what it was connected to out into the light.

"Oh my gosh! It's a girl!" Meg gasped. "What is she doing here?"

Meg quickly looked the unconscious girl over. She was fairly petite, and had bright red hair braided into a single pigtail. Her clothes were unusual: Chinese silk, and honestly a design worn mostly by boys. She was very pretty, and had fairly substantial... well, she was a well-endowed girl. Meg was relieved to see that she was still breathing (not a murder case), and her clothes were undamaged (not a rape); her only noticeable wound was a really nasty bump on her head.

"I'd better bring her home," Meg remarked as she picked her up. "If she was attacked or something, we'll make the police report AFTER she's feeling better..."

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"_Uuuuugggghhh...What hit me_?" Ranma thought as she opened her eyes. She slowly sat up, feeling a cold compress fall off of her head. She was shocked to find herself in a nearly-palatial bedroom! The room was literally two stories tall, with stairs leading upwards to the doors, and almost everything in the room, while not extravagant, looked fairly pricey.

"Whoah! I wonder how I got here?" she asked herself. Then, all of the memories of that afternoon came flooding back.

"Rrrrrrr... that stupid Akane!" she growled.

_5:30 that day, Nerima district of Tokyo_

_(Ranma's Memory)_

_AKANE: "Ranma, tell me the truth: do these jeans make me look fat?"_

_RANMA: "Not really..."_

_AKANE: "RANMA, YOU JERK!" (mallets him into the stratosphere)_

_5:30 that day, Nerima district of Tokyo_

_(How it really went down)_

_AKANE: "Ranma, tell me the truth: do these jeans make me look fat?"_

_RANMA: "Not really... Actually, they just might restrain your thighs enough for you to fit through doors!"_

_AKANE: "RANMA, YOU JERK!" (mallets him into the stratosphere)_

"Always smackin' me around with that mallet for no reason...Oh, my head!" Ranma groaned.

Just then the door to the room opened, and in walked perhaps the prettiest girl Ranma had ever seen. Her face was flawless, with ruby lips, piercing eyes, and a cute nose. She was of medium height (about as tall as Nabiki), and had long, chocolate-brown hair that reached down to her hips.

"Oh! So you're finally awake!" she smiled as she walked over to the bed. "I was about to get worried. I'm Megumi Amatsuka." Meg extended her hand.

Ranma snapped out of the daze she had been in since Meg walked in. "_Get a hold of yourself, man! You already have two fiancees; this is NOT the time to go looking for #3!_" she mentally chided herself.

"Ranma Saotome," Ranma introduced herself as she shook Meg's hand.

"Glad to meet you, Ranma," Meg replied. "Um...if you don't mind, would you tell me what you were doing in that alley? I found you lying in the rain with an awful bump on your head; were you attacked?"

"Yeah," mumbled Ranma, "a dopey girl hit me with a hammer; happens all of the time. That time, she just swung it a bit harder than usual!" She tried to laugh, but the throbbing in her head quickly turned the chuckle into a cringe.

"I...see," Megumi said, puzzled. "_What a strange girl,_" she thought. "So, uh, where do you live, Ranma?" Megumi asked.

"In Nerima. I go to Furinkan High School there," Ranma replied.

"Nerima, eh?" Megumi said, quite surprised. "That's in Tokyo...how did you get all the way here to Yokohama?"

Ranma's eyes went wide. "_Yokohama?! Akane has never hit me THIS far before!_" she thought. Ranma decided to play dumb with Meg; after all, who would believe that she'd been **malleted** across an entire city?

"Beats me," she lied.

"Well, in any case, it looks like you'll have to spend the night here," Meg stated. "I hope you don't mind; we could talk, or..."

"Oh, I don't mind; not at all!" Ranma replied. "So, is this your house?"

"Yep," Meg said matter-of-factly. "My family is pretty rich; I guess I'm lucky in that respect. We're in my room right now."

"REALLY?" Ranma asked, a little surprised. She never would have guessed it. On the one hand, the room _was_ neat and tidy, and had several flower vases; all typical girl's-room stuff. However, it was missing any trace of the band posters and stuffed animals she would have expected. Also, the room's white walls and plain wooden furniture gave it a simplicity more often found in a guy's room than in a girl's.

"_Oh, well. It's not like I'm an expert on girls' bedrooms or anything. It's kinda different from the Tendo girls' rooms, but it's probably just a matter of taste..._" Ranma thought to herself.

Megumi was getting a little frustrated. This girl, while friendly enough, was very difficult to carry on a conversation with; her answers seemed to never be over one sentence long, and she kept "zoning out". It was almost as if she was being careful to not say too much about herself...

"_I'm probably just imagining things; I'd probably act the same way if Miki were to pummel me with a hammer!_" Meg had to try very hard to keep from laughing at that thought. "_I'll go get some tea; she'll probably be more talkative once she gets nice and warm._"

Getting up, Megumi asked, "Ranma, would you like some tea?"

"Sure! Thanks!" Ranma replied.

Megumi walked up the stairs and out the door; after a few seconds she returned with a tray of hot tea in hand.

"I hope you like it hot!" she said as she made her way back to Ranma's bed. "Around here, nothing short of scalding will do--WOO!" Megumi tripped on the umbrella she had left lying on the floor, causing her to fall! The tea tray kept going, however, flying through the air and landing squarely on top of Ranma!

"YYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" she (then he) screamed in pain.

"Oh my gosh!!! I am SO sorry, Ranma!" Meg yelled as she ran over to the bed. "Are you alr--"

Meg stared in stunned silence at the BOY sitting on her bed, wet with tea and as red as a boiled lobster.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!"

And for the first time that night, something drowned out the thunder...

END OF CHAPTER 2

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Hey, there! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter; there's more to come! I'd like to thank my reviewers for their compliments, critiques, and suggestions. This is the most reviews I've EVER received for a story, hands down, and I'm truly bowled over by it! (P.S. Please keep it up!!!)

I've received a few emails and comments that have made me realize that I need to explain a few things. First off, PLEASE quit pummeling me with spoilers! I've been informed several times now of how Cheeky Angel ends, but as mentioned earlier, I'm basing this fanfic off of the first three graphic novels only. That means I'm only working with the characters as they think, act, and appear up to that point; no more, no less. Although I've received no comments about the Ranma cast, the same goes with them: this takes place right after Shampoo first appeared, but before she erased Akane's memory.

Also of note, I want to make it very clear that this story will NOT contain a Ranma-Megumi pairing. I've made up my mind on this, so don't ask, okay? For that matter, I might as well tell you that this story is going to take place over a very short time period, and pairings aren't really its point. The true focus here, besides the general Ranma 1/2-style antics, is the conflict between what Ranma and Meg are what they desperately want to be (AT--THIS--POINT! Huff, huff, huff...).

However, I hope that, regardless of your pairing opinions, you'll all keep comin' back for the ever-deepening plot and anything-goes shenanigans still to come. This story is definitely NOT over, so please keep reading! Thanks again!


	3. Meet Ranma Saotome Again

Author's note: Holy freakin' crap! I figured about four people would be disappointed, and I'd just email it to them; no biggie. Apparently, a lot more people than that are reading this thing. I posted the "withdrawal notice" at midnight, and woke up this morning to sixteen freakin' emails!!! This unexpected development has changed my mind about withdrawing it; if you folks really want to see this thing to it's conclusion, then what the heezie. I'm game! A big "thank you" to all of you; my confidence is restored. **HUZZAH**!

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"St-stay away from me!" Meg shouted, striking up a defensive stance.

"H-hey! Chill out, Meg!" Ranma stammered. "It's me, Ranma! Look!" He grabbed his pigtail with one hand and pointed at his clothes with the other.

Meg narrowed her eyes at the boy sitting in front of her as she looked him over. Who was HE trying to kid? Ranma was a girl! Still, how had this guy gotten in, and where had Ranma gone? Also, the resemblance between the two was eerie... This new fellow had greyish-blue eyes, was fairly good-looking , and was a little bit taller than the average height, but that wasn't what was bothering Meg. He had black hair braided into a single pigtail, was wearing the exact same suit of Chinese clothing that Ranma had been, and his eyes...those eyes...

"RANMA?!" Meg asked, wild-eyed.

"Yeah, Meg, it's me!" he said, very relieved. Then, he looked a little embarassed. Bowing, he said "Sorry 'bout this. I should have explained earlier, but--"

"MEG! ARE YOU OKAY?!" a voice bellowed from outside Meg's door.

"Dad!" Meg gulped. She turned toward Ranma with a panicked look in her eyes. "Look, explain later! My dad is a bit, um, 'overprotective', and unless you'd like a pool cue through the ears, I suggest that you hide!"

"YIPE!" Ranma squeaked. He ran into her bathroom and shut the door.

"MEG! OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT!" Meg's dad boomed as his furious knocking threatened to break the door down.

"Coming, Dad!" Meg called as she bolted up the stair and opened the door.

"Where is he?! Where's the little pervert hiding?!" he demanded, looking left and right.

As her dad bounded down the stairs and started inspecting every nook and cranny, Meg tried to play innocent. "What are you talking about, Dad? The only people here are me and that poor girl that got attacked!"

"Yeah, well where is she, anyway?" he asked, still searching.

"I...uh..." Meg was at a loss for words.

"Doesn't matter," Mr. Amatsuka blurted. "I heard a MAN'S voice in here."

Tears suddenly welled up in his eyes. "It's alright, Meg! I know you would never **willingly** let a guy into your room unsupervised. As soon as I find and kill him, I'll find the best hypnotist that money can buy to erase the brain-washing he gave you!"

"Dad! Now you're just being stupid!" Meg angrily protested.

_FFFFFSSSSHHHHHH!_

The sound of a running faucet came from the bathroom, causing both Meg and her father to stop in their tracks.

"_That IDIOT!_" Meg thought as she winced.

"AHA!" Meg's father yelled as he flung open the door.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!" a soprano-pitched voice screamed.

Meg's father stared open-mouthed at the half-dressed (_pigtailed_) girl standing in the middle of the bathroom.

"I-I'm SO, SO sorry! I--" he stammered, his nose bleeding profusely.

"Now that you've introduced yourself to my guest, Dad..." Megumi growled, the vein on her forehead throbbing, "why don't you...GET LOST!!!"

She picked up her father by the pants (he was too weak from blood loss to resist), and booted him out the door.

"Whew..." she sighed as she locked the door. However, as she walked down the stairs toward the bathroom, her relief quickly turned into anger. When Meg got to the door, the redheaded girl was finishing buttoning up her blouse.

Ranma smiled apologetically. "Look, I'm really sorry about freaking your dad like that, but I sorta hope to live to a ripe old age. Besides, you've got to admit that that look on his face was pretty priceless! Hahahahaha-" She noticed that Meg wasn't laughing. "-ha. Ahem."

Meg was tapping her foot on the ground and obviously trying to contain her anger. "Alright, buddy," Meg said. "You've got some 'splaining to do."

Ranma hung her head. "Look, I'm sorry for not being completely honest before. My name **is** Ranma Saotome, and I **am** from Nerima. What I **didn't** tell you is that... I'm really a guy. It's a long story, so you might want to pull up a chair..."

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"Let me get this straight," Meg said, wide-eyed. "You and your father were finishing up a 10-year training journey, when you went to a cursed training ground in China. Neither you nor your dad knew any Chinese, so you didn't know about the 'cursed' part. Then, you fell into springs that changed you into the last things that drowned there: a panda and a big-breasted girl?! That's WEIRD!!!"

Ranma blushed. "Uh, actually it was just plain 'girl'. As far as I know, that other part is something that _my_ chromosomes cooked up... Anyway, yeah, that's pretty much what happened. The only other part to tell is that hot water lets me return to my guy form, but cold water changes me right back into a girl. That's how I was able to pull a fast one on your old man. (_looks left and right_) Speaking of, do you think he'll be back? I'd just as soon be a guy, if you don't mind."

"Sure, go ahead!" Meg said. "After _that_ little incident, I doubt that he'll have the guts to come sneaking around here for a few days, much less tonight! Ha ha ha!"

"Thanks!" Ranma smiled as she got up and walked into the bathroom. Meg heard the faucet turn on again, and a few seconds later male Ranma walked out and sat down on the bed facing Meg.

"You know," Ranma remarked. "I'm really surprised that you aren't a little more, well, _shocked_ about this! I try to keep my curse a secret, partly because it's embarassing, but also because people tend to freak out about it. You, on the other hand, seem kinda calm."

Ever since Ranma had told her about his misfortune, Meg had been agonizing over whether to share _her's_...

"_Would he even believe me if I told him?_" she wondered. _"I mean, it's not like I can use a sink to prove it like he can... Even Yasuda, Ichiro, and Genzo wouldn't believe me. Why would a complete and total stranger? Then again, if anyone in the world ought to believe in curses, it's this guy. Hmm... I guess I've got nothing to lose..._"

Megumi took a deep breath, and then stood up.

"_What's her deal?_" Ranma wondered.

"You're right, Ranma; I **should** be more freaked. However, I'm not, and for a very unusual reason. As it turns out, you're not the only one holding back secrets, Mr. Saotome. Allow me to reintroduce myself," she said nervously, holding out her hand.

"Megumi Amatsuka, **guy**."

END OF CHAPTER 3

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Again, sorry about the short installments. I'll try to post them a bit more frequently. Please read and review; again, thanks!


	4. A Little More Conversation

Ranma was dumbfounded. What was this girl talking about?! Still, his curiosity got the better of him, and he decided that he'd better hear her out.

After Ranma shook her hand, Megumi began telling him about that horrible day six years ago. The words just started pouring out: how he had rescued the old man, received that old book as a reward, opened the cover only to have a genie pop out, and wished to be the "manliest man on earth". Head hung low, Meg then related how the genie had misconstrued the wish into "the womanliest woman on earth", how he had been transformed into a she, how she had hot-headedly thrown the book into the river, and how the genie had apparently "rewritten history" so that no one remembered Meg ever being a boy.

"Anyway, I've been this way ever since," she concluded.

Ranma wasn't sure WHAT to think. "_On the one hand, it sure is possible; I'm living, breathing proof of that. On the other hand, this chick might be suffering from 'attention-starved rich girl syndrome' or somethin'. She can't prove anything one way or the other, so how can I know for sure? Hmm..._"

Then an idea hit him. "Geez, that's pretty rough!" Ranma said sympathetically. "So you've been stuck as a girl for six years, without anyone believing that you used to be a guy?"

"Not exactly," she replied. "My best friend Miki was there when it happened, and she still remembers the 'old me'."

"_An she be for real about this?_" Ranma thought.

Megumi suddenly noticed the suspicious look in his eyes. "_He doesn't believe me, either..._" she thought, her heart dropping. "_Guess I have to bring out the big guns..._"

Ranma's train of thought was derailed by Meg's sudden bowing to the floor.

"Wha-what are you doing?" he asked, suddenly very uncomfortable.

"I know that it's a wild story," Meg said in a quiet voice. "I know that it sounds crazy and I know that there's no earthly way I can prove it, but... I'M A GUY!!!"

She looked toward him pleadingly. "I promise I'm not making this up; we're really in the same boat! Please, you've got to believe me! You've got to; if you don't, who would?! **Please!!!**"

Ranma didn't know what to say. Of course, the rational explanation was that this girl was indulging a fantasy gone too far. But several things made him hesitate. Why was this room so completely un-girly? Why had she reacted so calmly to hearing about his curse? Also...that fighting stance she took earlier...that was a _boy's_ stance. Assuming she even knew that, wouldn't she have used a girl's fighting style when surprised? Confused, he looked at Megumi again. Her eyes were silently pleading with him with a desperation that could only be described as pitiful. That look confirmed one thing for him: Meg wasn't just doing this for attention!

"_She's really gone out on a limb here by telling me this,_" he thought, "_and so many things point in that direction..._" Ranma closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and made his decision.

"Alright, Meg. I believe you."

"Y-you do?" she asked, startled. "You're not just saying that?"

Noting the relief on her face, Ranma grinned. He must have made the right call.

"Yeah, I really do. A lot of things around here didn't add up, but that curse would pretty much explain them. I do believe you, cross my heart and all that good stuff," he smiled.

"YAHOO!" Meg shot up from the floor, frightening Ranma and jumping a good 6 feet!

When she landed, she said, "Thank you SO much! You're the first person other than Miki who has ever believed me! Boy, have we ever got a lot of things to talk about! Hmm... where to start? Well, first, how long have you been cursed, anyway?"

"A little over a month," replied Ranma, "but it seems a lot longer than that to me. I'm still stuck on the fact that you've been dealing with this for six years!"

"It hasn't been easy," Meg sighed. "Other than the physical changes and all that entails, I've also had to relearn how I'm supposed to act, dress, and all kinds of other stuff. Then there's those boys always following me... Say, have any boys hit on you?"

Ranma turned red. "No offense, but I'd really rather not talk about it," he grumbled.

Indignant, Meg said, "Look, I've stuck my neck out here by telling you about my curse; the least you could do is be straight with me!"

Ranma reluctantly fessed up. "Two guys. One only once, the other pretty much every day."

"I feel your pain, buddy," Meg said. "I've got THREE guys that definitely want to date me and one other that I'm not sure about; they won't take any of the hints I keep giving 'em! Still, it could be worse. Genzo, Ichiro, and Yasuda _are_ pigheaded perverts, but when it counts, they can really play the hero."

Ranma shrugged. "It'd be nice if Kuno had some redeeming qualities. As it stands, the only good thing that I've found about the guy is that he's fairly easy to beat down. He won't take 'no' for an answer, and if that ain't enough, he's always trying to put the moves on Akane, too!"

"Akane? Who's that?" Meg asked.

"My fiancee," Ranma mumbled unhappily.

"FIANCEE? You've got a fiancee? Wow!" Meg said.

"Not by choice!" Ranma almost shouted. Cooling down, he explained further. "My dad and her dad decided. The Saotomes and Tendos are martial arts families, the only two in the world who use the Anything-Goes style. They decided that two of their kids would get married, uniting the schools; Akane and I got nominated."

"Oh..." Meg said, feeling sorry for him. "So you don't love her or anything?"

"Not really; I mean--" Ranma got a little flustered. "She ain't all bad, but she's got a lot of downsides. For example, she's built like a brick, she's as violent as King Kong, she gets mad at the littlest things, and she's about as coordinated as a drunk."

Meg pictured this tipsy gorilla with a dress on. "Geez... that's rough. I feel sorry for you, Ranma..."

Although she did pity him, she was getting a little tired of his "poor me" attitude. He didn't know what suffering was! Clearing her throat, though, she said, "Still, no offense, but those problems are pretty small compared to some of what I go through. When things heat up, you can just head for the nearest kettle of hot water, but some of us aren't so lucky."

"Yeah? What's a beautiful rich girl know about having a tough time of it?" Ranma asked, a little scorn creeping into his voice.

"Alright, Saotome," Meg snapped, now fairly peeved. "Listen up! Imagine being stuck as a girl somewhere with no hot water in 100 miles. Now imagine having to go to school in a dress and makeup every day. Add guys ogling you every split-second they think you're not looking, and some seconds when they know you are. Some of them grab at you and try to attack you, and when you cream them, you get reprimanded for being 'unladylike'. On top of that, add a few guys who DO actually matter to you, that you don't want to hurt, who won't back off no matter how hard you try to break it to them gently!"

Her voice rising, she continued. "Now, imagine that there's no way out of this place, no way to change back! I was the biggest, toughest badass on the block until 6 years ago!!! Now I'm being forced into a 'Miss Princess' persona that I don't want and never have! Don't you **dare** tell me I've got it easy!!!"

Ranma was stunned speechless. He'd never really given that much thought to what it would be like to be stuck as a girl indefinitely. "_Looks like I've managed to stick my foot in my mouth again..."_ he thought. "_Maybe I do have it easy in some ways._"

"Look, Meg, I'm sorry!" he apologized. "Maybe I _was_ a bit out of line sayin' that. I just kinda get frustrated at everything that's happened to me, you know?"

Her face softening, Meg replied, "Apology accepted. Speaking of, what all _has_ happened to you, anyway?"

Ranma smiled weakly; it was once again _his_ time to complain. "Alright, but if any of this leaves this room, then you'd better be prepared for some **really bad** consequences! Here goes: that Kuno guy wants to date the girl-me and kill the guy-me. He grabs at me and buys me bouquets when I'm a girl and tries to take my head off with that sword of his when I'm a guy. His twisted sister, Kodachi, wants the exact opposite to happen, and ain't afraid to use paralysis gas and really big hammers to send the girl me to the grave so she can date the guy me. I've tried to tell them that we're the same person, but those two are about as thick as they get..."

Continuing, he said, "Then, there's Shampoo and Ryoga. Shampoo's from a village in China that has a 'if you're defeated, marry the guys and kill the girls' law. I accidentally beat her both ways, and she doesn't know we're the same, either. She's probably waiting at the house for me right now; I still haven't figured out how to get rid of her. Ryoga is my rival and a total nut-case. I can't tell you what started the grudge between us (I promised him I wouldn't), but he kind of wants me smashed into teeny-tiny pieces, too. Now I hope you understand why I get bummed out pretty easily. My curse is only half the problem; all of these lunatics make the situation a lot, LOT worse!"

Megumi stared bug-eyed at Ranma. "You--you're joking, right? All of that couldn't have possibly happened in one month!"

If it was a joke, Ranma wasn't laughing.

"Man... looks like neither of us has the best luck, huh?" she muttered.

A grin came over Ranma's face as an idea popped into his head. "Most embarrassing moment?" he asked Megumi.

"Er--", she said, caught off guard. "I...guess it would be that time Genzo 'proclaimed his undying love for me' in front of the whole class. I almost had to be hospitalized after that! Hahaha!" she laughed. It was a little bit funnier now it was in the past!

"How 'bout you, Ranma? With the company you say you keep, I bet you've had at least one really bad 'embarassing moment', right?" Meg asked.

Ranma actually turned green. "Let's see, how to choose... getting kissed by that jerk Mikado Sanzenin when I let my guard down, or having to wear a pink leotard (in front of a whole auditorium full of people) during my fight with Kodachi?"

Megumi started making choking noises as she tried to hold back her laughter, but her self-control was only so strong.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! _(wheeze! wheeze! cough!)_ HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Go ahead and laugh it up!" Ranma growled. "Hardy har har!" Privately, he had to admit it was a _little_ funny.

"_You know, it's actually kind of nice to have... someone who can sympathize..._" he thought.

_**And so the conversation continued late into the night... **_

_**(Until bedtime, that is...)**_

"YOW!" yelled (girl-type) Ranma from her now-wet futon. "Why'd you do that for? That was cold!!!"

"Sorry," Meg replied, "but I've only known you one night. If you think you're sleeping in my room as a guy, then you've got another thing coming! 'Night!"

END OF CHAPTER 4

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That's it for this chapter! I hope I'm still keeping these two "in-character", but I'm sure you folks will let me know if I'm not. Again, sorry for the short installments, but get used to it; they're all this way! Hahaha!

Because I've made quite a bit of progress in writing the later chapters during this past week, I'm going to post the next chapter on Wednesday, as opposed to my normal "on-the-weekends" routine. I'm something of a man-slut when it comes to reviews, by the way, so please keep them coming! Adios, sayonara, au revoir, see ya later, and all that good stuff!


	5. Fisticuffs in the Gym

THE BARON: Yo! My little commentary is at the top of the page this time around; I have to keep all of you on your toes, after all! Hahaha! Again, thanks for all of the reviews. The only question I saw that I thought should be addressed here was this one: "Is this before or after Meg uses the clown's book again?" The answer to that is "right before". Now, on to the fic!

---------------------------------------------

_**SWISH! SWISH! POW!**_

"Hiyaaah! Hey, quit dodging and fight like a man!" Meg yelled.

"_How the heck did I get suckered into this?_" Ranma wondered as she barely avoided a roundhouse kick to the head.

"_Oh yeah..._"

---------

_Earlier that morning..._

_MEG: "Ranma... Hey, Ranma! C'mon, Rip van Winkle! Wake up; it's morning!"_

_RANMA: "Uuuggghh...? Already?"_

_MEG: "Yeah; sorry about waking you up a little early, but I knew you'd have to leave soon, and I have a little favor to ask..."_

_RANMA: (confused) "Huh? Like what?"_

_MEG: (flashing a sweet smile) "Well, you're a martial artist, right? If you'll remember, I told you last night that I'm one too, and I was wondering... well, no one has given me a decent match in six years because I'm a girl. But since you know the truth, I was hoping that you would spar with me and use 100 percent of your strength!"_

_RANMA: "You're kidding, right? Look, no offense, Meg, but at the moment, you're a girl, and I just don't fight girls."_

_MEG: (starts poking Ranma's assets) "Oh, I don't know... Seems to me that 'girl vs. girl' is fair enough, eh, **Ms.** Saotome?" (grins)_

-----------

Megumi gave Ranma a karate gi, put one on herself, and then led the somewhat-reluctant Ranma to her "workout room". Ranma nearly fell over when Meg opened the door; the gym was more than twice the size of the Tendo Dojo! The two girls walked to the center of the room, bowed, and struck up their respective fighting stances.

"_Geez... why'd she have to go and challenge me, anyway? I guess I'd better use kid gloves; Meg probably hasn't progressed much since she got her curse,"_ Ranma thought to herself. However, her chain of thoughts was soon interrupted.

"HIIIIYAAAAHH!"

_**POW!**_

Ranma suddenly found herself spinning backward through the air away from Meg! As she screeched to a halt, Ranma's face was filled with shock. "_What the--? I barely saw that move!!! Looks like Megumi isn't a pushover after all..._"

As she unsteadily stood up, Ranma saw Meg running at her full steam, ready to administer another "smack-down-kick"!

"_Not this time..._" Ranma thought. As Meg punched and kicked at a speed which would have clobbered an ordinary person, Ranma (now extremely focused) dodged, ducked, and blocked her furious assault. Still, he had trouble bringing himself to hit her. Even though she had once been a guy, it just didn't seem right...

Meg, meanwhile, was at once impressed and annoyed. "_He's so fast! I can barely lay a finger on him; still, he's bound to leave an opening sooner or later. Grr... why won't he fight back?! It's the stupid 'don't hit girls' thing, I bet... Guess I'll just have to show him that it's a real mistake to judge a book by its cover!_"

"You jerk!" Meg almost screamed. "When I said fight me with all of your strength, I MEANT IT!!!"

Meg suddenly backflip-kicked, catching Ranma squarely on the jaw! When she landed, Meg saw that the attack had broken her opponent's lip, and a small line of blood dribbled downward toward her chin. However, Ranma looked a lot more mad than hurt!

"You really want me to go all out, huh?" Ranma asked menacingly. "You'd better be careful what you wish for... YOU JUST MIGHT GET IT! HYAAAAH!!!"

Ranma shot forward with a burst of speed that took Megumi completely by surprise. Ranma's fists and feet were flying around Meg on all sides; he was purposely missing her, but at this speed, Meg would get pulverized if she moved! Finally, Ranma sent a fist flying into Meg's midriff, sending her flying a good ten feet!

As she landed, Ranma rushed over. "_Whoah! I didn't mean to hit her THAT hard! Hope she's okay..._" As Ranma reached her side, Meg turned over, a dazed look in her eyes.

She mumbled, "That's strange... Why are there three Ranmas? C'mon! I'll take you all on..."

Ranma shook her a few times. "C'mon, Meg! Snap out of it! Are you okay?!" she asked, concerned.

Meg finally came to herself. "Ranma? Yeah, I'm fine..." (_to herself: "Gawd, I think I'm gonna puke!"_)

Smiling weakly, she said "Nice right hook, Saotome! It looks like I underestimated you."

Helping her up, Ranma said "Likewise. If you want my honest opinion, here goes: your offense rocks! You're really strong for a girl, and fast too; if one of those roundhouse kicks had ever connected, I would've been in a world of hurt. On the other hand, your defense sucks. You left yourself open a whole lot; it's probably because you haven't had many people attack you. Nobody wants to beat up a girl, after all."

"Thanks for the info. I'll work on that," Meg replied as he helped her out the door.

---------------

After Ranma's lip had stopped bleeding and Meg's insides seemed as if they just might stay in place, the two decided to part company. Ranma knew that Mr. Tendo was probably crying a river right now, wondering where his "heir" had gone off to! Now in his male body and normal clothes, Ranma stood with Meg at the entryway to her house.

"Well, Megumi, it's been fun. Thanks for dragging my carcass out of the street!" Ranma smirked.

"You're welcome," Meg replied. "I'm always up to nursing the unconscious back to health!"

They both got a good laugh out of that one. Smiling, Ranma opened the door and started walking out.

"Hey, Saotome!" Meg called. "Be sure to come see me when you get the chance!"

"Sure will! See ya'!" he answered over his shoulder.

_**And so Ranma and Megumi parted on good terms, both feeling much better than they had before their meeting. They were both happy to know that they had finally found a kindred soul, someone who could sympathize with the other's predicament.**_

_**However...**_

_**The story of their encounter is not over QUITE yet...**_

END OF CHAPTER 5

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You heard the narrator: this isn't over yet, so please keep reading! Later, folks.


	6. Reflection

It was a bright sunny day, and Megumi and Miki were walking home from school, dodging the puddles on the sidewalk. Meg was relating the events of the night before, and Miki was barely able to believe what she was hearing.

"You're serious, Meg?!" asked Miki incredulously. "You've met another guy-turned-gal?"

"Yeah, but 'guy-_turns_-gal' would be a better way to put it," she replied. "Hot and cold water apparently change him back and forth between the two."

"And you actually saw him...her...(whatever!) do this?" Miki asked.

"Yep. I've got to say, it was pretty--"

-------------

"--amazing, Akane! I never thought in a million years that I'd ever find anybody with the same problem as me!" Ranma said excitedly.

Ranma sat against the edge of the dojo with his reluctant fiancee, Akane. She had forgiven him his comment from yesterday, and when he finally arrived home, she was eager to know where he had been all night. He quickly related his strange tale, leaving Akane, who had seen her share of weird crap in her day, more than a little surprised.

"That **is** pretty odd," Akane replied, looking thoughtful. "I mean, what are the chances that the two of you would meet, much less like _that_... So, you're sure she didn't take a plunge into one of the Jusenkyo springs?"

"Pretty positive," Ranma said. "She couldn't change back, and she's never been to China, so I'd say it's a pretty sure thing."

"Ranma..." Akane asked, a little embarassed to be playing the cynic, "How do you know she's telling the truth about the curse? I mean, it sounds like she can't prove it..."

"She can't exactly, but there are a lot of little things that support her story that she couldn't have possibly planned or anything," he replied. "Her room almost looks like a boy's, she fights like a guy, and something in her speech reminds me of a guy, too. Also, there was that look on her face after she told me: that was the look of somebody desperate to be believed, that nobody _had_ believed in a long time."

"Hmm..." Akane was soaking all of this in. Then, something else popped into her head.

"You said she was a martial artist, right? Is she very--"

-----------

"--strong? No way he's stronger than you!" Miki said, quite surprised.

"He is..." Meg answered. "Once he got serious, he went from 'decent' to 'invincible'! His speed was breathtaking, and his punches pack one heck of a wallop!"

"He **hit** you?!" Miki gasped, outraged.

"Heh heh. I kinda asked for it," Meg sheepishly replied. "I kinda kicked him in the jaw and kept screaming at him to fight back."

Miki frowned. "_So much for being ladylike..._" she thought to herself. Changing the subject slightly, she asked "Could Genzo beat him? Or Ichimonji?"

"I'm honestly not sure...It would pretty much be a toss-up in either case, I think..." Meg said. She pondered Miki's question for a second; the thought hadn't really occurred to her before.

Miki's next question pulled her back to reality. "Well, let me ask you this: what impressed you least and most about him?"

Meg scratched her head as she considered, and then turned back toward Miki. "_Least_ would probably be his manners; Ranma could be pretty rude at times. _Most_ would definitely be his inner strength. Some of the stuff that's happened to him... I don't think I--"

-----------------

"--could handle it!" Ranma muttered. "If what she told me was true, Meg wasn't 'just another guy'; he was the toughest punk on the block! I've known a few guys like that before, and they would rather have their liver ripped out than act girly... That must have made Meg's curse even tougher on her."

Akane smiled slightly. "Maybe, but it takes a tough person to be able to handle a situation like that. It takes a lot of inner strength, not just 'punching power'."

A big grin spread over Ranma's face. "Hey! Was that an indirect compliment, Akane?" he asked.

Her smile turned into a grimace. "Don't be ridiculous. As I was about to say, handling a situation like that takes either a lot of inner strength OR being too stupid to know how bad you have it!"

"Why you uncute little--"

-------------

"--jerk! Your dad can be so lame sometimes! Ranma was lucky to get away with his life!" Miki muttered.

"Yeah. He sure got Dad back, though! Hahahaha!" Meg laughed.

"You know, I really would like to meet this Ranma guy. He sounds like a hoot!" Miki grinned.

Meg perked up. "Yeah! I ought to invite him--"

------------

"--to her house someday." Akane suggested. "I wouldn't mind meeting this Megumi myself!"

"I don't know..." Ranma said, a little unsure. "It'd be kinda rude to just barge in without an--"

----------

"--invitation to my birthday party! It's only a few days away!" Meg said.

"Birthday party?" Miki asked, a bit surprised. "Since when did you start having birthday parties?"

"Since I got more than one friend!" Megumi replied with a laugh. "You would always come over on my birthday, but this year I was thinking about inviting Genzo, Ichiro, Yasuda, and Ichimonji, too. I'll just send Ranma an invite; the more the merrier, after all!"

"Do you know his address?" Miki asked.

Gloom spread over Meg's face. "Rats! No, I don't... Hey! Wait a minute! He said that he was living at 'the Tendo Dojo'. The chances of their being more than one of those in Nerima is slim to none, so I'll just look the address up in the phone book and mail it there!"

"That ought to work," Miki agreed. "Looks like you'll be meeting--"

-----------

"--again soon," Ranma said.

"Maybe," Akane replied. "But first, don't you have a more pressing problem?"

"Like what?" Ranma asked, puzzled.

(_Akane gives Ranma a dirty look as she points to the purple-haired Chinese girl glomping his right arm_)

"Wota airen..." Shampoo cooed.

Ranma gulped. "Oh, yeah..."

END OF CHAPTER 6

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Hey, folks! I hope you liked this chapter; it was really an experiment of sorts. I've always wanted to try writing one of those scenes where two groups finish each other's sentences, and I think I handled the wordplay fairly well! (On the other hand, I'm a bit biased, so tell me what YOU think!)

Oh, yeah. Before I forget, I have a short little FYI about something that's popped up in several reviews: strength levels. There IS a "power gap" between these two series, and I'm going to be fudging the truth a little on both sides to even the odds. However, the power difference between these two series isn't as great as many would like to think. In many of the stories on this site, you'll find the Nerima crew "sensing" where people are, shooting power blasts left and right, spouting gibberish about ki, and doing other things that make you wonder "Are they trying to get a job with DBZ or what?". There's nothing _wrong_ with this school of thought, but the fact is that I don't subscribe to it. Ranma and his cohorts are extremely talented, powerful martial artists, but they are far from invincible (especially when caught off-guard). Therefore, if someone seems too strong or weak for your tastes, remember that I'm basing this story off of the traditional anime and manga strength levels. If you still find yourself saying "I can't see that happening", well... just chalk it up to "artistic liscense" on my part. (_grins_)

By the way, can any of you see where this plot is heading? If you answered "toward utter chaos and mayhem", then give yourself a pat on the back! Hahahaha! Stick around; the exciting stuff is right around the corner...


	7. Party Time!

It was the night of the party, and most of Meg's guests had already arrived. Just then, the last four stepped out of the darkness and approached the gate.

"You're...joking, right? She lives HERE?!" Akane gasped, her eyes as big as saucers.

"Yep! Pretty impressive, huh?" Ranma replied.

"Is big house! How you friend afford this too too expensive house, Airen?" Shampoo asked.

"Hey!" Akane whispered to Ranma. "Remind me again why _she_ had to come along!"

"Beats me..." Ranma whispered back. "I guess for the same reason you brought Ryoga with you!"

"He was lost!" Akane protested. "It would've been mean to just leave him wandering around in the train station!"

"That moron could get lost in a phone booth!" Ranma remarked. Cutting the conversation short, he pressed the buzzer on the side of the gate.

"Hey! This is Ranma Saotome. Meg invited me and any friends I wanted to bring along to her party, so let us in."

A harsh voice blared out of the intercom: "Never heard of you! Get lost, you little turds!"

"What?!" Ryoga yelled. "How dare he disrespect us that way!"

Suddenly, the sound of a struggle and yelps of pain came out of the intercom!

"**Father! How many times do I have to tell you to quit harassing my friends?!**" Meg's voice screamed.

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" her father's voice replied.

"Stupid old man... AHEM. Come on in, Ranma!" Meg said sweetly.

Akane grinned. "Now I see what you meant about having a lot in common..."

The gate opened, and the four walked in.

-----------------

The party was being held in the front yard, and several people were milling about. In the center of the yard was a large fountain, water spurting gently from the top. There were lights hung on poles, several white tables scattered about, and a big table filled with snacks. In the very center of the festivities was the "jewel in the crown", a huge white birthday cake sitting on a small table of its own.

"Hey, Ranma! Glad you could make it!" a voice greeted the Nerima crew.

Ranma turned around to see Meg, dressed in a white skirt and blouse, walking toward them with another girl. The girl accompanying Meg was petite, fairly pretty, and had short black hair; from the description Meg had given him a few nights ago, Ranma guessed that this must be Miki.

"I never miss out on free eats, Meg!" Ranma replied with a smirk. "Especially if I can enjoy 'em with my friends."

This brought a smile to Megumi's face. "Thanks..." Just then, she remembered something. "Oh! I'm being rude! I haven't yet met your friends. My name is Megumi Amatsuka, and this is my best friend, Miki Kabanain."

"Meg's told me a little bit about _you_," Miki winked knowingly at Ranma. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Saotome."

"Likewise!" he replied with a slighty nervous grin. "_What was with that wink? Did Meg tell her about my curse?! Oh, well... I told Akane, so I guess we're even._"

(_Silence_)

"Ahem!" Akane elbowed Ranma, irritated. "Don't you have a little introducing to do, chump?"

"Oh, yeah...right!" he laughed, embarassed. "This is Akane Tendo. The guy behind me is Ryoga Hibiki, and this girl that's glued herself to my arm is Shampoo."

Meg's eyes went wide in alarm! Weren't these two the psychos Ranma had warned her about?! Still, they seemed normal enough; the boy was really polite, bowing at his introduction, and the girl, while a little overpossesive, looked really happy. "_Ranma doesn't look very worried about them being here, so I guess it's okay... I just can't get over the fact that that's Akane! She's not ugly; she's kind of a looker, actually, and nice too! Ranma really made her sound like a witch..._"

Akane was surprised, also. Ranma's tale of meeting a beautiful girl living in a palatial mansion had sounded far-fetched, but he didn't tell the half of it! Her thoughts raced wildly: "_This house must have cost a fortune, not to mention its upkeep... And Megumi...even I can see she's a knockout, probably the cutest girl I've ever seen! Could she really have been a guy once?!_"

They suddenly noticed that they were staring at each other.

"Wh-what?" Akane asked, blushing a little.

"I'm sorry!" Meg apologized, embarassed. "It's just that--you weren't what I was expecting! Ranma made you sound a little...different."

Akane's eyes narrowed. "Really?"

Turning toward her fiancee with a "her words may seal your fate" look, she sarcastically requested, "DO go on. Just what has he been telling you?"

As soon as Akane looked back toward Meg, Ranma started sweating profusely and making "X-nay on the uncute-ay!" motions with his hands. Getting the hint, Megumi and Miki both realized that this could get real ugly, real fast!

Megumi nervously laughed, "I thought you had _brown_ hair, (_haha_) and... stuff. Yeah! Hahaha!" Turning toward Ranma, Meg said, "Let me introduce you to the guys! Okay? (_desperate 'nudge, nudge, hint, hint' motion_)"

Ranma looked like a man rescued from the guillotine. "YEAH! Great idea!" he enthusiastically laughed, following her away from Akane (and certain doom). While Miki amiably chatted with Akane, Meg led Ranma to a nearby table surrounded by four boys, one wearing street clothes, the others in school uniforms. The tallest one (the one in street clothes) had a bit of a thuggish look about him, including a scar on his face and had spiky hair that was black on bottom and white on top (RANMA: "_It kinda looks like a pineapple..._"). Another one, about the same height, looked very clean-cut, a real boy-scout-type. The third guy was...average. REALLY average. Neither ugly nor handsome, neither tough-looking or an obvious wimp; he was just your average Joe. The last guy was a short, slim, little guy with glasses and a somewhat nerdy appearance in general. They all eyed this newcomer carefully.

"Hey, guys!" Meg said sweetly, "This is my new friend, Ranma Saotome. I've got a bit of a situation here, so please introduce yourselves and make nice-nice, okay? Be back in a second, Ranma!"

With that, she ran off, leaving Ranma alone with the four youths. "Um...yo!" he said awkwardly. He tried to smile, but before he'd managed the facial movement, Ranma was almost bowled over by the immense battle aura coming from the four boys! If the phrase "staring daggers" was literal, Ranma would have already bled to death from the evil looks these guys were giving him!

"_ACK!_" he thought, confused. "_What the heck did I do?! These guys are furious!_"

"So, you're Meg's 'new friend', huh? " the little guy asked threateningly. "Care to clarify what that's supposed to mean?"

Ranma blinked, confused. "Well, it's like thi--"

"Look, we don't care!" the average Joe butted in. "There's enough competition in this market; find your own girl, man!"

Suddenly realizing what the problem was, Ranma blushed and tried to explain. "H-hey! It's not like that! We're--"

"Did we ask your opinon?" the pineapple-haired guy snapped. "Just stay away from my angel, okay?!"

Ranma was turning red again, but this time, it wasn't from embarassment.

"Grrrrrrr**rrrrrrrr_RRRRRR!!!_** NOW YOU LISTEN HERE!!!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "I'm **DON'T** want to go out with Megumi! I've already got two girls that are trying to marry me; I'm NOT about to go looking for another girl to get hitched to! Do ya understand, you stupid jerks?! **I'M--NOT--INTERESTED!!!**"

Taken completely by surprise by the violence and volume of Ranma's outburst, the four stared in shock at the infuriated pigtailed boy. Ranma waited to see what their reaction would be: angry, apologetic, annoyed; what? To his surprise, a huge smile spread over all of their faces!

"Well, why didn't you say so?" chuckled Mr. Average. "If that's the case, great to meet you! My name's Ichiro."

"The name's Yasuda. Pleased to meet you!" the little guy said politely.

"Saotome, eh? Nice meeting you. I'm Genzo Soga, the toughest guy around and Meg's future husband!" the thuggish guy grinned, ignoring the "why-you-little-sonova!" looks this statement provoked from his friends.

"You can call me Ichimonji," the clean-cut guy said, extending his hand. "Look, I'm really sorry about that! As you can see, passions run high in this bunch, and sometimes we can get carried away."

Ranma was still a little annoyed, but decided to let it be "water under the bridge" and shook Ichimoni's hand. "Ah, don't worry too much about it. I've had worse greetings, especially from that idiot Ryoga."

_**WHAM!**_

A large bump quickly sprouted on Ranma's head, lifting up the solid-titanium umbrella resting on it! Ryoga glared evilly at his rival.

"Hey! Who's an idiot, you loser?!" Ryoga shouted, aggravated.

"Speak of the devil..." Ranma grumbled, rubbing his head. "Guys, this is Ryoga Hibiki, my rival in the martial arts. At least, that's what he keeps sayin'..."

"Martial arts, eh?" Ichimonji brightened. "I'm a student of karate myself. What fighting style do you use?"

Ranma proceeded to explain, and as they talked, the two Nerima-based fighters quickly "hit it off" with Genzo, Ichimonji, Ichiro, and Yasuda.

_Meanwhile..._

Akane, Megumi, and Miki were all having fun, too. They soon realized that everyone in the group knew both Ranma's and Megumi's secrets, so that "cleared the air" between them. Although the three had just met, they were soon chatting just like old friends! Only Shampoo remained standoffish, keeping both eyes and ears on "her Airen", just in case some girl had the gall to come within ten feet of him...

"He did **what**?!" Miki gasped, trying not to laugh (rather unsuccessfully).

"Ranma put on a pink dress and posed as Dr. Tofu's girlfriend so the poor M.D. wouldn't have to get married! Hahahaha!" Akane whispered, cracking up.

The three girls laughed at the retelling of that little misadventure until they had tears in their eyes.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ha ha ha--hoo, boy! Poor Ranma!" laughed Meg, wiping her eyes with a tissue Miki handed her.

Still giggling a little, Megumi took a look skyward, only to have her heart skip a beat. On top of Meg's house (and this is a three-story house), _Miki's cat_ was strolling around on the edge of the roof!

"_Kyoko?! What the heck is she doing up there?!_" Meg thought, her heart racing. "_In this heavy wind, all it'd take is one big gust and... Better not think about that. Oh, man, if Miki sees her up there, she's gonna freak! Maybe I can get her down before she notices..._"

"Heh heh! Listen, Miki, I've gotta go to the girl's room," Meg said with a fake laugh. "Be back in just a minute, okay?"

With that, she slowly, calmly turned around and... took off running toward the house like her butt was on fire.

"Wow! She must have to go really bad!" Miki thought out loud. "Well, Akane, what do you say we join the boys?"

"Sure! Sounds like a plan to me," Akane agreed.

------------------------------

Ranma and Ryoga were laughing hysterically at a somewhat-dirty joke Yasuda had just related. Turning toward Ryoga, Ranma gave one of the few truly happy smiles that had crossed his face since Shampoo had arrived in Japan.

"Y'know what, Ryoga?" he said happily. "Just hangin' out like this is great. In fact, I think I just might get through one night without something going horribly wrong! I've got a really good feeling about it..."

_Meanwhile..._

Meg was still making her mad dash toward the roof, dashing under ladders, knocking a mirror off the wall, knocking over a salt shaker, and scaring a black cat so badly that it ran back and forth in front of her several times before it finally made its escape...

_**This, dear readers, is why Ranma Saotome is a fighter, not a fortune-teller.**_

END OF CHAPTER 7

------------------------------

For once, this blabbermouth has only one word to offer: review!


	8. Prelude to Disaster

The "trap door" to the attic creaked loudly as it swung open; a pretty girl with long brown hair soon clambered up the fold-down stairs and into the dark space.

"Geez..." Megumi muttered, sweeping cobwebs aside. "When was the last time the help dusted this place, anyway?"

Finally, she reached the window. It slid open with a little push, and Meg peered outside. What luck! Miki's cat, Kyoko, was only five or six feet to the left of the window!

Carefully crawling outside, Meg called the cat to her. "Here, kitty, kitty! Come here, Kyoko!"

"Meow!" The cat didn't look particularly interested. Crawling a little bit closer, Meg suddenly made a grab at it, but the pestilent feline hopped out of reach just in time to evade her!

"All right, you little furball," she gritted her teeth. "So that's how it is, eh? We'll see about this..."

-

Miki and Akane had joined the boys near the fountain, stopping the dirty jokes, but livening the conversation in other ways. Everyone was laughing and having a good time, but for some reason something Miki looked a tad worried.

Noticing that she looked a little preoccupied, Akane asked her "Hey, Miki! What's wrong? Is something bothering you?"

"Oh, nothing much," Miki assured her. "It's just that... Meg sure has been gone for a long time. She's pretty fast in the bathroom as far as girls go; do you think she might be sick?"

"I hope not," Akane frowned sympathetically. "That's never fun, especially on your birthday..."

Not wanting to get Miki worked up over nothing, Akane decided to change the subject.

"So," she asked, "does Meg really live here? It's a beautiful house."

"It sure is," Miki agreed, taking a fresh look at the house where she spent so much of her time. "Three stories tall, not including the attic and basement. Sometimes I wonder how they afford the electricity bill..."

Suddenly, Miki turned stark white and a look of horror came over her face.

"Miki!" Akane gasped, concerned. "What's wrong with you? You look like you've just seen a ghost!"

All of the jokes and conversation had stopped, and everyone's eyes were on Miki. Trembling, she pointed up toward the roof.

"It's Meg... She's running around on the roof..." she squeaked faintly. "With this gusty wind, she might..."

Suddenly, Megumi Amatsuka came into view, running around in circles and loops at reckless speed. Meg's Musketeers all looked as if they might have a heart attack!

"Meeeeeeeeeg! Why do you keep doing such dangerous things?" Genzo yelled to the heavens in frustration. Crying, he pleaded with her, "Meg! Pleeeeeeease come down from there!"

"He's right, Miss Megumi!" Ichiro shouted, trying to conceal his panic. "It's not safe up there!"

"It's no use, guys!" Akane told them. "The wind is drowning out your voices!"

Stretching a little, Ranma told them, "Aw, don't worry about it. I'll go get her."

"But by the time you reach the attic, it could be too late!" Yasuda cried.

"Who said anything about the attic?" Ranma asked, puzzled. He leaned down, and then hopped 30 feet straight up!

Miki, Genzo, Ichiro, Yasuda, and Ichimonji all stared after him open-mouthed, their eyes bugging out of their heads; only the Nerima crew was unfazed.

"D-d-did you all see that?" Ichimonji finally managed to choke out. "How did he DO that?"

"Do what?" Ryoga asked, very confused. "All he did was jump on top of the house..."

-

"Mew!"

"Kyoko, you stupid cat!" Megumi panted. "I'm tired of playing games with you! Either you stop running, or I'll rough you up so bad that you'd be better off in a violin factory!"

She was about to make another dash at Kyoko, when (to her shock) Ranma hopped onto the roof in front of her! Megumi stopped in her tracks, staring at the human grasshopper dumbfounded.

"R-Ranma!" she finally choked out. "What are you doing here, and how did you just do that?"

Megumi glanced quickly at the ground below. "_Some kinda catapult, maybe...?_"

"That ain't important right now," Ranma replied. "Question is: what are _you_ doing up here? Everyone in the yard is about to have a nervous breakdown!"

"Oh, man! You mean they saw me?" Meg asked, a little annoyed. "I was hoping I could slip up here and back without anyone noticing. You see, I'm trying to catch Miki's cat."

Ranma turned pale and swallowed hard. "Um, I think I misheard you or somethin'. Would you mind repeating that?"

Puzzled at his anxiety, Meg repeated, "I said Miki's cat is running around on the roof; apparently, the little fuzzball is faster than she looks. So far, I haven't been able to catch her. Want to give me a hand?"

Ranma twiddled his thumbs in embarassment. "W-well, I would... but-"

Something apparently caught Meg's eye, because she smiled in surprise. "Hey! Maybe that won't be necessary! (_giggle_) It looks like she likes you!"

Ranma's heart stopped beating as he felt something warm and furry rub against his ankles.

"_Please, please, no...!_" he thought in panic. Fighting the instinct to crawl into a fetal position and pass out, Ranma forced his eyes downward.

"Meow!" Kyoko purred happily.

"**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!**"

Ranma lunged forward, screaming like a two-year-old and sending the cat flying with a "YOWL". Megumi blanched when she realized that Ranma was heading straight for her!

"Ranma, you idiot! We're on the third-OOF!" she screamed before having the wind knocked out of her. The two teens felt themselves leave the surface of the roof, and soon found nothing but thirty feet of empty space below them! Finally realizing what he had just done, Ranma said the only thing that came to his mind.

"Oh, crap..."

Luckily, his mind was working a bit faster than his mouth. "_Man! I've really done it this time! I guess the only thing to do is make sure I hit the ground first... Damn, this is gonna hurt!_"

(_30 feet_) Ranma began twisting around in midair, trying to make himself wind up on bottom.

(_20 feet_) Finally, he managed to accomplish the maneuver. "Brace yourself, Meg!" he yelled.

(_10 feet_) **BAM!**

"_What the hell?_" Ranma thought as his back collided with something very hard, and then passed straight through it. Through the blur of speed and pain, he realized that they had crashed through the roof of some sort of building...

(_0 feet_) **BAM!** (again)

-

On the ground floor, everyone had been going through about a million emotions:

**1.** shock (ICHIMONJI: "That jump... HOW?")

**2.** amazement (ICHIRO: "That's pretty neat...")

**3.** curiosity (AKANE: "What are they talking about up there, anyway?")

**4.** and when Ranma and Megumi plunged off the side of the roof, the ever-popular

"kill me now" made an appearance (ALL: "NOOOOOOOOOO!")

Their hearts all fell to their big toes when the two first fell off, but as they awaited the dreaded "**SPLAT!**", they were greeted instead by the afore-mentioned "**BAM!**".

"Hey!" Miki pointed in the direction of the crash, "They fell into the gardener's shack!"

The group sped toward the shed as fast as their legs could possibly carry them; Genzo reached the door first.

"MEEEEEEEEGGG! Hold on, angel! I'm coming!" he shouted as he grabbed the door handle. He gave it a twist, but to his (and everyone else's) mortification, the door wouldn't budge!

"Oh, no!" Miki cried. "It must be locked!"

"Then I'll break it down!" Genzo growled. "RRRRRRAAAAAGGGHHH!"

He kicked the door as hard as he possibly could; unfortunately, it barely made a dent.

"Huh? What's up?" Genzo asked Miki, confused. "They tore through the roof like it was paper!"

"Maybe," she replied, "but people don't normally try to break in _through the roof_; the door is probably the sturdiest part of this building. I'll go get a key"

As Miki ran off toward the house, the others could only hope and pray that Ranma and Meg were alright...

-

"Ooooooh... my aching noggin!" Meg mumbled as she woke up. "Where am I...?"

Despite the dust and general destruction of property, Meg recognized the little shed as her gardener's shack. "_Where did Ranma disappear to?_" she wondered. Just then, the ground beneath her moved!

"Wha?" Sitting up, Meg discovered that she had been lying on top of him!

"Yo... Meg," he smiled weakly. "You okay?"

_**SLAP!**_

"Yow!" Ranma shouted in pain. "Why'd you do that for?"

"Why do you think, you dumbass?" she snapped harshly. "You knocked me off the roof, and almost got us both killed!"

"Hey, sorry, but I took the brunt of the fall, didn't I? Show some gratitude!" he spat back.

"Look around this room, you blockhead!" Meg pointed at all of the sharp gardening tools on the wall and strewn about the floor. "If we'd fallen on one of those, it wouldn't have mattered who was on bottom; we both would've been impaled! Smashing into the ground would have been less risky than this !"

"I can't believe this!" Ranma growled. "Here I try to save you, and all you can do is gripe me out about where we land! You're acting just about as uncute as Akane! 'Sides, if you hadn't been running around on the roof, none of this would've happened in the first place!"

She grabbed him by the collar and leaned down close to him. "You listen here! I told you why I was up there; I was trying to save Miki's cat. You've no business criticizing _me_. (_evil grin_) Just imagine: a guy who's scared to death of cats!"

Ranma blushed a deep crimson. "Why you... If you **EVER** tell anyone about this, I'll-"

Before Ranma could finish his threat, the door suddenly swung open, bathing the two in light.

"Meg!" Genzo shouted in concern, "Are you-"

The pineapple-haired punk stopped in mid-sentence, his face frozen in shock.

"G-Genzo! What's wrong?" Meg asked, both worried and confused.

Everyone was silent; finally, Akane stepped forward, and she looked MAD.

"Rrrrrrraaaaaannnnmmmaaa!" she rumbled. "You'd better have one heckuva explanation..."

"What in the world are you people talking about?" Ranma exclaimed, thoroughly confused.

"What he said!" Meg echoed.

"Ummm... Meg?" Miki spoke nervously. "Take a look at what you're doing..."

Ranma and Meg looked toward each other. "Hmmm?"

Meg was sitting on top of Ranma (perhaps "straddling" would be more descriptive), her hips about even with his. Both were very dissheveled, and Meg was still holding onto his collar tightly; their faces were less than a foot apart. Even the oh-so-naive Ranma and Meg realized with a sinking feeling that this was a textbook example of a "compromising position"!

"ACK!" Meg hopped off of Ranma as fast as she possibly could, and Ranma simultaneously shot to his feet! Waving their hands wildly, Ranma and Meg tried their best to explain.

"I know what this looks like, but I would never-" Meg stammered.

Ranma was pleading like a man condemned. "It was the fall, I tell ya! She was up close 'cause we were arguing! Please, I promise-"

"Shut up."

Genzo's quiet but firm command did its job admirably.

He looked up with tears in his eyes. "Meg, don't worry. I know you're way too pure to go carousing with this creep."

(YASUDA: "_Carousing? Where did he learn a word that big?_")

"He obviously was holding _you_ down, and pulled a clever switch when he heard me open the door. Nice trick."

Genzo wiped the tears away, and as he turned toward Ranma the look of sorrow on his face turned to a look of rage. "Listen up. Lying about wanting Meg was one thing; I could have forgiven you that. However, when you dared to try and defile my angel, you crossed the line. Better write a will, because you're about to die."

END OF CHAPTER 8

-

Nice cliffhanger, eh? Please review, and keep reading!


	9. The Big Birthday Party Battle, Part I

"Better write a will, because you're about to die."

Ranma could tell from the look in Genzo's eyes that he had every intention of fulfilling that threat!

"_Man... what to do?_" he thought anxiously. "_If we fight here at Meg's house, all kinds of expensive stuff is bound to get destroyed! On the one hand, I hate running from a fight, but on the other... this is Meg's birthday. I don't want to ruin it for her, even if she is bein' a royal pain at the moment. Guess I'm just gonna have to swallow my pride, and...and..._"

Ranma was unable to bring himself to think the word "run", but that was exactly the plan of action he'd decided on. Now all he had to do was get the big goon out of the doorway...

"Yo, stupid!" he taunted Genzo. "I hope you're not as weak as you are ugly, or this'll be short!"

"You moron!" shreiked Meg, shocked. "Why on earth are you antagonizing him? Genzo will make hamburger meat out of you!"

"**Shut up, you!**"Genzo roared, rushing toward Ranma. The young thug swung his fist at Ranma's face, but his target ducked just in the nick of time! As soon as the blow had passed overhead, Ranma sprinted past Genzo and out of the building. Meg's Musketeers could understand running from Genzo, but Akane and the rest of the Nerima crew were speechless. Ranma had never run from a fight! Had he finally lost his nerve?

"_I still can't believe I'm doing this!_" Ranma thought, disgusted.

Ranma was halfway across the lawn when a voice rang out that stopped his advance.

"So, you're a coward as well as a pervert, huh?" Genzo shouted angrily from the doorway of the shed. "I've seen _girls_ with more guts than you!"

The word "coward" caused Ranma to flinch, but the second part brought him to a screetching halt.

"_Uh oh..._" Akane cringed. "_For Ranma, the 'coward' part was bad enough, but the 'girl' thing is really twisting the knife!_"

Ranma seemed to hesitate, but finally turned back around to face Genzo and the others. His face was contorted with anger, and he was obviously struggling to control himself. "Y'know, skunk-top, I was planning to leave for Meg's sake, but you seem to be an expert at pissing me off! If you want a fight, **you've got one! RRRRRAAAAAAGGGGHHH!**"

Yelling like a maniac, Ranma dashed toward Genzo at a speed that took everyone (even the Nerima crew) by surprise. Before Genzo even had time to react, Ranma was only feet away! Ranma lashed out with a uppercut to Genzo's chin, but the spiky-haired boy countered with a blow to Ranma's stomach. The two attacks hit simultaneously, but to everyone's shock, only one of the two boys seemed affected!

"AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!" Ranma doubled over in pain as his vision was clouded by a red haze. Genzo simply smirked, then sent Ranma flying with a brutal roundhouse-kick!

The younger Saotome was slammed against the wall by the force of the blow, sending him into spasms of pain. As he fought to maintain consciousness, he noticed the strong taste blood inside his mouth.

"_Those punches are too strong... He's busting me up on the inside,_" Ranma realized as he watched Genzo coming ever closer. "_I can't take much more of this..._"

-

"M-Meg!" Miki gasped as she watched the slaughter. "What's going on? I thought you said Ranma was even stronger than you are!"

"He is," Meg assured her, "but Genzo is **no** wimp, and he's so mad that he can't see straight! With all of that adrenaline, he's probably twice as strong as he normally would be!"

Miki tugged on Meg's sleeve with a panicked look on her face. "Meg, we have to stop him! I don't think Genzo was kidding; he really wants to kill Ranma, and at this rate, he just might do it!"

Meg's eyes narrowed as her resolve strengthened. Rolling up her sleeves, she said, "Right. Leave it to me..."

However, before she could make another move, Meg felt two small, soft hands touch the side of her face.

"Wha?"

Before she got a chance to turn around, Meg felt someone kiss her on the cheek! She was preparing to launch "the slap of fury" on whoever had decided to make his move, but the identity of the mystery kisser gave Meg quite a shock. It turns out that the mysterious pair of lips belonged to that purple-haired girl Ranma had brought along!

Miki let out a gasp as Meg began to turn beet-red.

"Umm... Excuse me..." Meg stammered awkwardly.

"_What the heck was THAT about?_" she wondered. "_I've always hoped that the first person to kiss me wouldn't be another guy, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind, either... Still, why do I feel so uneasy?_"

While the ice-cold smirk Shampoo was giving her probably had a part in it, what was really bothering Meg was something she had heard during her conversation with Ranma a few nights ago...

"_What was it that Ranma said? Something about Chinese-Amazon kisses... When you're a boy, the kiss means they want to marry you, but when you're a girl...!_"

As Megumi realized the full implications of the smooch _she_ had just received, all of the color drained out of her face. Shampoo pulled her two trademark bonbories out of nowhere and gave Meg a look that could freeze Hell over.

"Is easy see how you seduce Airen..." the Amazon sneered. "You very pretty girl. Too bad you have **die** now! **AIIIYAAAAHHH!**"

"YOW!" Meg screamed as she dodged the flying bonbori of doom. "C-can't we talk this over?"

"You no talk!" Shampoo screamed. "**Just DIE!**"

With that, Shampoo starting attacking at a speed that took Megumi's breath away. Meg did her best to block the furious assault, but each attack had enough force behind it to shatter a concrete wall! Meg's Musketeers heard the sound of a struggle behind them; turning around, they saw (to their horror) that Meg was under attack. A _second_ front had opened in the Birthday Party Battle!

"_God... Who IS this girl?_" Meg thought, her hands and arms in agony. "_I-I think can feel the bones in my arms breaking! I hate running, but I think I'd hate dying even more, so..._"

Meg suddenly backflipped out of Shampoo's reach, throwing the Amazon off-balance.

"Sorry... Shampoo, right?" Meg panted. "I'd really like to stay and spar with you, but I'm kinda busy right now. Later!"

Meg took off running around the corner of the building, leaving Shampoo and the others stunned.

"Whew! That was a close one!" Meg muttered as she reached the other side of the shed. All of the sudden, a bonbori shot through the side of the building, narrowly missing Meg's head!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!" Meg screamed in a pitch that normally would've embarassed her.

Eyes as large as saucers, she suddenly noticed someone standing on top of the roof...

"Maybe you no understand, stupid girl," Shampoo said coldly. "Kiss of death is promise to kill you, even if Shampoo have to track you to end of Earth! You no escape so easy..."

Meg's heart was pounding as if it might burst out of her chest. It was plain to see that there was no reasoning witht the Amazon, and it was also clear that she would never give up the chase.

"_Okay..._" Meg thought. "_I've got two choices here: either I can die trying to run, or I can take my chances and fight. Some choice..._"

Meg took up her fighting stance and cleared her mind. She had waited six years for a true, all-out fight with a worthy opponent. She had found it. This would be "the fight of her life", even if the expression was a little too literal to be pleasurable...

-

Meanwhile, the remainder of the party guests were doing their best not to panic! They didn't know which to pay more attention to: the possible homicide Genzo was about to perpetrate, or the life-and-death fight that Meg was about to be launched into.

Finally, Miki couldn't take it anymore!

"Ichimonji!" she cried, grabbing him by the shirt collar. "You've got to do something! You're the only person here strong enough to stop them!"

He smiled solemnly. "Way ahead of you. I'll stop Genzo; you guys see what you can do about pulling purple-hair off of Meg."

"Right!" Ichiro and Yasuda yelled. They were about to rush to their angel's aid, when the new boy wearing the bandanna blocked their path.

"Hey, you! What are you doing? Move it!" Ichiro growled.

"Sorry," Ryoga smirked, "but I can't do that. You're not interfering with either of these fights. Not until Ranma and Megumi have had a little time to suffer for the pain they caused Akane."

"Ryoga, please, that's not necessary!" Akane pleaded with him.

"Don't say a word, Akane!" he replied. "I know you're just trying to protect them. I saw that look on your face when we found them about to... well, never mind. The important thing is that I'm not letting them off the hook so easily!"

Turning back toward the enfuriated Ichiro and Yasuda, Ryoga concluded, "Like I said: if you want to stop these fights, you're going to have to go through me..."

"Fine! We can handle that!" Yasuda shouted. "_Heh. Even if he is pretty strong, it's still two-on-one. He won't stand a chance!_"

"YAAAAGGGHHH!" the two boys roared as they charged Ryoga.

_**BOOM! BOOM! WHAM!**_

In a matter of seconds, Ichiro and Yasuda were lying unconscious on the ground, battered, bruised, and bleeding. Ryoga grinned as he began to sheath his umbrella.

"Feh. Idiots..." he muttered.

Suddenly, Ichimonji stepped forth, fixing his steely gaze on the lost boy. "You're a violent guy, you know that? Actually, I've made a career out of showing guys like you the error of their ways. Care for a lesson?"

Ryoga's smile faded as he once again armed himself with his parasol. "Bring it on..."

Ichimonji and Ryoga charged each other simultaneously, and the fight was on! Ryoga was instantly surprised by his opponent's speed. "_He's fast... almost as fast as Ranma..._"

The comparison wasn't too far off the mark. As in his fights with Ranma, Ryoga was the one throwing the stronger punches, but for every one that connected, Ichimonji was managing two! Still, the power behind Ryoga's blows was nothing to sneeze at, either...

"_Getting hit by this guy is like getting hit by a truck!_" Ichimonji winced. "_I'm going to feel sooooo sore in the morning... I guess I'd better wrap this up!_"

Ryoga launched a right hook at Ichimonji, but to the lost boy's surprise, the young gentleman caught it! Ichimonji took advantage of the moment to launch a brutal series of attacks: punch, punch, uppercut, sweep kick, and finally roundhouse kick!

The assualt knocked Ryoga off of his feet and sent him flying into a nearby statue. Upon impact, it fell over on top of him, signaling the end of the fight.

"_Huff, huff_... That guy... was tough..." Ichimonji panted. "I'm not sure I'll be able to stop Genzo after all of that."

Still, he resolved to try, but as he began running in the direction of the Ranma-Genzo fight, he noticed that something was casting a shadow over him...

"Huh?" Ichimonji mumbled. "...**ACK!**"

He jumped to his left, narrowly avoiding being crushed by the statue that, only seconds earlier, had served as a "tombstone" for Ryoga!

Ichimonji couldn't believe his eyes: standing where the statue had formerly rested was a now-standing Ryoga, ready to fight and (even more amazingly) seemingly unharmed!

"It's going to take a lot more than fine art to get rid of me!" Ryoga yelled. "My challenge still stands: nobody's interfering with Ranma's and Meg's punishment while I'm around!"

Still shaking with his near-encounter with the statue of Apollo, Ichimonji stood up slowly.

"My friends are in trouble, and I won't let them down! I'll squash you if it takes 10 statues!" he threatened.

Ryoga didn't bother answering him. Instead, he started pulling bandannas off of his head and spinning them...

Miki and Akane, the only able-bodied guests left not fighting, were torn by their consciences. What should they do? What could they do?

"Akane...?" Miki whimpered, hoping she would have an answer.

Akane didn't reply.

END OF CHAPTER 9

-

Whew! Is it hot in here, or is it just... ACK! Incoming flames for how I handled the fight scenes are raining down from the sky! Well, before you launch that deadly barrage of heat my way, please refer to the author note on the bottom of chapter 6. Okie-dokie?

I hope you're enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Please stick around; the climax is right around the corner!


	10. The Big Birthday Party Battle, Part II

_Meg's party had started out so peacefully... Everyone had arrived safely, the decorations were gorgeous, and everyone was having a wonderful time. However, Ranma and Meg never can catch a break, and this get-together was no exception. When the two survived a fall from the roof, they thought the worst was over, but (as so often happens) they had merely hopped out of the proverbial frying pan and into the fire..._

_Now, thanks to the unspeakably unfortunate position these two "bad luck magnets" were found in, what started out as a night of fun has become a no-holds-barred fight for survival! Genzo and Shampoo both have murder on their minds, and they aren't in the mood to listen to reason. Ichimonji might be able to diffuse the situation-IF he can just get through Ryoga..._

His vision blurred with spasms of pain, Ranma watched as Genzo drew ever closer. "_This guy's a monster..._" he thought."_Even Ryoga can't punch like that! One thing's for sure: I can't take much more of this..._"

Genzo was now only a few feet away. "_I can't go toe to toe with this guy, not if I plan to see the light of another day... Time to show this goon that power's only half the trick to winning! I just hope my body's up to this..._"

Genzo finally stopped about three feet away from Ranma. Popping his knuckles, he growled, "Any last words?"

Ranma managed a weak grin as his entire body tensed. "Just three..."

To Genzo's shock, his supposedly flattened opponent suddenly hopped backwards, managing a strange handstand in which his legs were bent to his body. Ranma suddenly shot upward like a human spring, launching himself feet first and plowing into Genzo's face at full-speed! As Genzo toppled to the ground, Ranma made a ten-point landing.

"Spring... Lauch... Kick!" Ranma panted. The heir to the Anything-Goes school smirked and began limping away, but he suddenly saw something coming at him out of the corner of his eye...

"**DIE!**" roared Genzo, lunging toward Ranma.

"YOW!" Ranma yelped, dodging just in time to avoid what probably would have been an instant K.O. Still, the young Saotome didn't escape entirely unscathed: although Genzo's punch had only grazed him, it had left a bleeding cut in its wake.

"You... You still wanna fight?" Ranma gasped, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"You attacked the girl I love..." Genzo rumbled. "I said it before and I'm sayin' it again: you're not leaving this house in one piece!"

"I already told you what happened," Ranma muttered with a scowl, "but you don't seem to hear very well. I guess I'm just gonna have to beat some sense into that thick head of yours."

Ranma's weakness seemed to fade away as he began another mad dash toward Genzo. This was just what the spiky-haired lad had been waiting for... "_Heh heh heh... That's right, pigtail-boy! Get right up close, where I can smash your perverted face in..._"

"RRRRRAAAAGGGHHH!" Ranma yelled as he shot toward Genzo. Genzo braced himself for Ranma's attack, and counterattacked with another body-blow, but was shocked when the attack hit... nothing but air!

"Wh-WHAT?" Genzo gaped as Ranma's afterimage faded away.

"Hey, stupid! Yoo, hoo; over here!" a voice from behind him called out.

Genzo hadn't completely turned around when the punches started connecting. If you have ever been downwind of a brick factory during a hurricane, you can probably understand what Genzo was going through at that moment, but otherwise... you can scarcely imagine.

"_Holy crap! Who is this guy?_" Genzo thought as Ranma's punches slapped him silly. Genzo's face and torso began to feel numb, and he was slowly but surely losing consciousness. "_This must be it... Meg, I'm sorry... Wait! **MEG!**_"

"YAAAAAGGGGHH!" Genzo burst forth in a desperation-induced fury, ignoring Ranma's punches and catching the pigtailed fighter with a right hook to the ribs.

"**Urk!**" Ranma gasped in pain, but he had learned his lesson from last time. Despite the pain, he jumped backward out of Genzo's reach before he could inflict further punishment.

By this point, both fighters were barely able to stand, a fact that made Genzo's insane laughter only that much unnerving.

"What's so funny, jerk?" Ranma spat.

"You've already lost, fool!" Genzo chuckled. "You can hit me just as much as you like; I'll just grin and bear it. You can't do the same with my punches, though, and I'm pretty sure one more good hit will finish you. It's only a matter of time..."

Ranma realized with a sinking feeling that Genzo wasn't bluffing; for once, his logic was perfect. "_He's right about one thing: I don't think I can take another direct hit. Still, **HE** ain't invincible, either. Genzo's only human; given enough pressure, he'll finally fold. I can't give him any breathing room... I just hope he doesn't finish me while I'm wearing him down..._"

With a strength born of desperation, Ranma launched himself toward his opponent once more, dodging Genzo's blows as he pounded him relentlessly with punches and kicks of his own...

-

"Kill you! Kill you! Kill you! You die now! I KILL YOU!"

Megumi's fight with Shampoo wasn't going any better than Ranma's with Genzo, and (if anything) was actually going worse. The only reason Meg had lasted _this_ long was because of the stiff defense she was putting up, but bearing the brunt of such a brutal string of attacks was inevitably wearing her down.

"_Does this chick run on batteries or what? If I'd had to fight her last week, I would be a smear on the ground by now!_"Meg thought as she desperately tried to dodge and block Shampoo's assault. Meg had stayed up late training every night the past week because of her embarassing loss to Ranma; it was definitely proving to be time well-spent.

"_I wonder how I would be doing against her if Ranma hadn't pointed out my defense problem? _(the image of spilled spaghetti pops up in Meg's mind) _Uhh... better not answer that! Still, the question remains: how am I going to get myself out of this mess?_"

"You stupid girl! YOU DIE!" Shampoo yelled, suddenly shifting her concentration to Meg's arms. She winced in pain as the Amazon launched a series of hammer blows, but the wince became a cry of agony when one bonbori strike finally caused a sickening **_CRUNCH_**! Meg dropped to her knees, clutching her broken right arm and biting her lip to keep from screaming in pain! The lavender-haired Amazon stood over her wounded oppenent, gloating cruelly.

"When Shampoo realize you no going to attack," she smugly grinned, "she decide to break coward girl's defense, literally! Now you die, **no** joke."

Meg was preparing to meet her maker, but then she noticed something that offered a slight ray of hope: Shampoo was so confident that she had dropped all her defenses!

Meg's mind began working overtime. "_This is my chance! In the shape that my arm is in, punching her would hurt me more than her, but there's more than one way to skin a cat... It's now or never!_"

"DIE!" Shampoo exclaimed as she prepared to decapitate Meg with a horizontal bonbori swing, but Meg was no stationary target! Shampoo's jaw dropped as Meg nimbly hopped **on top of** her moving bonbory!

"Sorry, but I'm planning a long life!" Meg shouted, delivering one mother of a kick to Shampoo's unguarded face!

The Amazon was knocked off of her feet by the unexpected attack, and another midair kick (courtesy of Meg's foot) knocked the psychotic Amazon completely unconscious.

Meg landed unsteadily, losing her balance and falling flat on her derriere. Surprise at the ungraceful fall gave way to relieved laughter as she gave in to her fatigue, falling backward onto the grass. Meg smiled gratefully as it finally dawned on her just how narrowly she had cheated the Grim Reaper.

"Oh, man..." she muttered tiredly. "That was awesome, but I've had enough of that kind of fighting for the _next_ six years!"

Just then, Meg had a thought that caused her to sit upright in alarm. "Oh, yeah! I wonder how Ranma made out with Genzo? I hope they're both okay..."

The ever-so-cheeky angel stood up carefully, still weak from the fight. With a slow but determined hobble, she made her way back around the shed and toward her friends.

-

"Nyah, nyah! Is that the best you can do? You couldn't even catch a cold!" Ranma taunted as he danced around Genzo.

"Shut up, you freak!" Genzo barked, swinging wildly at the pigtailed boy. As usual, the attack missed, and was countered by three swift punches and a kick from Ranma.

"_Okay, this is going pretty good..._" Ranma thought as he dodged. "_He hasn't been able to lay a finger on me, and I'm beatin' the big goof senseless! I just hope he goes down soon; I don't know how long I can keep this cat 'n mouse stuff up!_"

Indeed, Ranma's movements were starting to slow from fatigue. However, the constant barrage of punches and kicks was taking its toll on Genzo, too!

"_It's all I can do to just keep standing..._"Genzo thought, staggering about. "_But I can't go down now! No way! Not until this perv pays for what he did to Meg!_"

Just then, Ranma nailed Genzo with a right hook to the face, knocking the spiky-haired boy to the ground! Ranma stared in astonishment at his motionless opponent. Had he finally won? Moving cautiously, Ranma crept over to where Genzo was lying and leaned down to make sure he was actually unconscious...

"**Gotcha!**" Genzo shouted, suddenly springing to life. Before Ranma could so much as blink, he found himself on the receiving end of a vicious headbutt! The blow sent the young gender-bender reeling, and Genzo took advantage of the opportunity to spring to his feet. Before Ranma could reestablish his defense, Genzo began hammering him with blow after powerful blow! Finally, Genzo connected with an uppercut that lifted Ranma off his feet and into the air!

The young Saotome fell to the ground with a resounding **_THUD_**; he did not rise. Ranma was still conscious, and through a red haze he saw Genzo towering over him with a triumphant grin on his face. Ranma tried to move, to hop out of Genzo's reach, to hit him, to do anything-but his body refused to budge. After surviving the fall from the roof, meting out countless attacks, and being on the receiving end of quite a few others, Ranma Saotome truly had nothing left.

"_I guess... this is it..._" the heir to the Anything-Goes School thought as he hovered on the edge of oblivion. "_This guy's said over and over again that he wants to kill me, and I'm in no position to stop him. Why did it have to end like this? There were so many things I wanted to say before I died, so much I wanted to do! I wanted to tell Pop that I do appreciate all that he's done for me... to see my old buddy U-chan one more time... to tell Akane that she is cute sometimes... But those things aren't gonna happen. There's nothin' left to do now but hold my head high; if I die, I'm dying like a man!_"

"Say your prayers, perv! You're gonna need 'em on the other side!" Genzo rumbled menacingly.

"Go... to Hell!" Ranma choked out.

Genzo's eyes narrowed in anger. "This is for you, Meg!" he yelled, lifting his fist in preparation for the final strike. Ranma watched as the proverbial "executioner's axe" was raised, and braced himself for the impact. However, once Genzo's fist reached it's maximum height, something very strange happened: Genzo seemed unable to manage the downward motion!

"_Huh? What's he doing?_" Ranma wondered.

Genzo tensed and made a slight choking sound as he struggled to move his raised arm. Ranma's jaw dropped in surprise as realized that Genzo was losing consciousness! The pinapple-haired punk's eyes rolled back into his head, his whole body shook, and finally he tumbled to the ground like a fallen tree!

At first, Ranma could only stare skyward in complete and total shock, unable to believe his good luck. As the reality of the situation dawned on him, though, Ranma began to laugh hysterically, tears of joy running down his face! Ever since that trip to China, Ranma Saotome had been Fate's spitoon; if there was any possible way for something bad to happen to him, it would. Now, whether out of pity or out of just deserts, Fate had finally given Ranma a break!

Once he had finished laughing, Ranma mustered superhuman effort and raised himself to his feet. Shuffling over to Genzo's unconscious form, he smiled weakly.

"Guess you felt all of those attacks more than you were lettin' on, eh, buddy?" he muttered softly. Ranma started to walk off, but seemed to hesitate. Finally, he turned around and walked back over to his fallen opponent. Trembling as he did so, Ranma lifted Genzo onto his shoulder and started hauling him across the lawn.

"You were a worthy opponent, Soga, even if you were a total moron..." he whispered to his unconscious passenger.

-

"Ichimonji! Watch out!" Miki screamed.

Taking the cue, Ichimonji ducked under a bandanna that had managed to "boomerang" and sneak up behind him. The intense ache he felt as he stood up made the young gentleman realize just how badly this fight was going for him. Once Ryoga had started using his headgear as a weapon, the fight had headed swiftly downhill for Ichimonji.

Fighting the parasol-wielding warrior would have been a daunting task by itself, but trying to dodge his seemingly endless supply of bandannas made it all but impossible. His body was covered in cuts from where the polka-dotted projectiles had grazed him, and he had his share of bruises from Ryoga's powerful punches and kicks.

Ryoga noticed his opponent's rough condition, too, and felt a twinge of pity for him. "C'mon, buddy. There's no need to continue this. Just give up!"

"Fat chance!" Ichimonji yelled angrily. "Like I said, I'm not stopping until my friends are safe; if you won't move, I'll just go through you! YAAAAAAGGGHH!"

Ichimonji ran full-speed toward Ryoga, fire in his eyes. What pity Ryoga still had left for his super-polite opponent quickly evaporated.

"I try to be nice, and this is what I get?" he growled. Ignoring him, Ichimonji attempted to roundhouse-kick the lost boy, only to receive a rude surprise: Ryoga caught his foot in mid-attack, and didn't look inclined to let it go!

"Should've quit when I told you to! RRRRAAGGHH!" Ryoga yelled, lifting Ichimonji into the air and flinging him away like a rag doll. He probably would have racked up quite a few frequent flyer miles, had he not had a close encounter with the wall surrounding Meg's house...

_**WHAM!**_

Ichimonji cringed as he slammed into the concrete barrier, and fell motionless to the ground. However, he wasn't beaten yet! Summoning all his strength, Ichimonji struggled to his feet, faced his opponent, and put forth his defensive stance.

"Feh. Idiot..." Ryoga mumbled angrily. "Looks like he's from the 'never-say-die' school. Fine! **I can deal with that!**"

With an explosive burst of anger, Ryoga sped toward the weakened Ichimonji, intending to put him in his place once and for all! Ichimonji shuddered but didn't budge; he was determined to stand his ground, come what may.

"Oh, God... I can't watch this!" Miki sobbed, covering her face in her hands. However, the sounds she expected (the general "flattening" of Ichimonji) never came; instead, there was the sound of a screetching halt, and two masculine gasps...

"W-what?" she stammered, opening her eyes and searching for what caused the unexpected halt in the fighting. Miki didn't have to look far: standing in between Ichimonji and Ryoga was Akane Tendo, her arms positioned to shield her from Ryoga's onslaught. Both boys stood motionless in surprise at this girl's unexpected show of courage.

"A-Akane...?" Ryoga gasped, all but speechless.

Akane lowered her arms, allowing Ryoga a decent view of her face. He had often seen his sweetheart's face contorted in anger, usually as a result of Ranma's misadventures, but he had NEVER seen her like this! Akane gave Ryoga a glare that would have made Satan piss himself.

"Ryoga! What the heck do you think you're doing?" she screamed. "Take a good, long look at this guy! He's in no position to fight!"

"Please, Miss..." Ichimonji began, "there's no need to-"

"My butt there isn't!" Akane snapped. "Protecting the weak from those who would bully them is a martial artist's most sacred duty, and, like it or not, you SURE fit into that 'weak' category right now!"

"As for you..." Akane turned angrily toward Ryoga, "I... can't believe you. As if picking on someone who can't defend himself isn't bad enough, you could be killing Ranma or Meg by doing it!"

Tears began to well up in Ryoga's eyes. "Akane... I'm sorry! I was doing it all for y-"

"Don't give me that!" she interrupted. "**I** told you to stop, but you ignored me and beat up everyone who was trying to help! This was about _you_ getting _your_ revenge, and nothing else! I used to think that you were such a nice guy, Ryoga, but now I don't know what to think! I-huh?"

Ryoga's lecture was cut short when he fell to his knees, startling Akane. Her eyes widened in concern as she saw his condition: he looked like he was having a heart attack! He was shaking like a leaf, and (even more disturbing) the pupils in his eyes had seemingly disappeared, making his eyes completely white.

"Ryoga!" Akane whispered in a worried tone. "W-what's wrong with you?"

"Urk...urk...urk...urk...urk..." Ryoga made several croaking noises, but seemed unable to reply.

"Ichimonji! Miki! One of you call a doctor! I think something's really wrong with Ryoga!" Akane shouted, very upset.

Ichimonji's eyes narrowed as he looked at Ryoga's pitiable condition.

"_I've seen this before!_" he suddenly realized. "_A few weeks ago, Meg screamed at Genzo that she despised him, and he started acting sick like this. His symptoms weren't even half this severe, though! Still, if my theory is right..._"

"Ahem. Akane?" Ichimonji said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Tell him that you forgive him."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Well, just look at him," Ichimonji gestured toward the trembling lad. "He's obviously really sorry for what he did. What could it hurt?"

Akane raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, but if it would help her friend, she was willing to try almost anything.

"Ryoga," she said, taking his downcast face in her hands and lifting it to face hers, "listen to me. What you did was wrong, but since you're sorry, I forgive you."

Ryoga stopped making the croaking noises and seemed to snap back to reality. "Y-y-you do? Really?"

Relieved to see her old friend back to normal, Akane smiled sweetly at him. "Sure do, cross my heart and hope to die!"

Ryoga sprang upward so quickly that Akane almost fell over backward!

"**YES!**" Ryoga rejoiced, dancing a little jig. Turning toward Akane, all "rainbows and butterflies", he assured her, "Don't you worry, Akane! I'll bring Ranma and Megumi back safe and sound! Just you wait!"

"Looks like your timing is about as good as your sense of direction, pork-butt..." a voice interrupted.

The four teens turned to see Ranma Saotome (weak, but wearing a triumphant smile) walking toward them, carrying Genzo on his back.

"Ranma! You're okay!" Akane happily exclaimed, rushing over to her fiance and embracing him.

"GWACK! Akane, you're squeezing me to death!" he wheezed as all of his broken bones were crushed even further.

"Oh!" Akane gasped, blushing as she released him. "Sorry about that, Ranma! I... that is... you had us a little worried for a few minutes there."

"Even her hugs are uncute..." Ranma mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Akane growled.

"_Geez, her hearing's sharp! Too sharp..._" Ranma thought uneasily. Ranma gave his fiancee an unconvincing grin. "Heh, heh! Just saying that 'I gave Genzo the boot!' Hahahaha!"

Ranma waited for the mallet to strike, but (to his eternal relief) Akane had apparently bought his story this time. Breathing a sigh of relief, he turned toward Ryoga and Ichimonji. "Speaking of old scarface... Would one of you mind taking him off my back?"

Ryoga quickly lifted Genzo off Ranma's shoulder and sat him on the ground next to Ichiro and Yasuda. "Add one to the infirmary..." he muttered.

"Ranma, I never would have thought it possible, but you really did beat Genzo!" Ichimonji chuckled in amazement. "Still, I can barely believe what I'm seeing. He might be a goof most of the time, but when 'the Demon King' gets that angry... let's just say that I'm glad **I** didn't have to fight him!"

"Maybe, but **I'm** not surprised..." Ryoga said in a serious tone. "Even if Genzo had managed to stand up to Ranma's huge arsenal of low blows and cheap shots, he still would've met his end at the hands of Ranma's ridiculously good luck!"

Ranma winced as he popped his back. "Yeah, lucky me..."

Just then, Miki remembered something very important. "Ack! We forgot about Meg!"

"What about her? Say, where is she, anyway?" Ranma asked, confused.

"That girl you brought along picked a fight with her!" Miki replied angrily. "She gave Meg a kiss and then went totally **ballistic**! They ran behind the gardener's shack, and we haven't seen them since."

At the word "kiss", Ranma's jaw dropped and his face turned ghostly white. Panic in his voice, he shouted, "Oh, **NO! **C'mon, guys! We have to get there before-"

"Before what? Before I have to crawl all the way here from behind the shed?" a feminine voice quipped.

Everyone whirled around to see Megumi Amatsuka leaning on the side of the gardener's shed, weary and clutching an injured arm, but otherwise okay. Seeing the worry on her friends' faces, she calmed their fears by giving them one of those brilliant smiles that had earned her the nickname "angel" in the first place.

"Meg! Thank God you're alright!" Miki sighed, relieved. "Say, what happened to that other girl?"

"She's taking a little nap right now. Heh, heh!" Meg grinned knowingly.

"Need a lift, birthday girl?"

Meg jumped, startled. She was suddenly aware of Ranma standing next to her, offering a shoulder to lean on.

"Yeah, thanks!" she said, gratefully accepting the assistance. "I'm glad to see that _you_ made it out okay, Saotome!"

"I guess..." he replied. "Just don't lean too hard, okay? I might fall over!"

They both got a good giggle out of that one; despite their respective injuries, Ranma and Meg were simply happy to be alive and intact. Perhaps they shouldn't have laughed that hard, though... You see, if he had only paid more attention, Ranma might have noticed that slick muddy patch next to the fountain...

"Wuh! WAH! **YAAAGH!**" Ranma yelled as he slipped, falling sideways into the cold, cold water.

Taking several steps back, Meg gulped loudly. "Uh oh..." she muttered.

Everyone watched in fascination as a dripping wet red-head sloshed out of the water.

Miki's eyes were as wide as saucers. "_Oh, my! Meg wasn't kidding! He really DOES turn into a girl!_"

Ichimonji was at a complete and total loss for words. Either this guy had suddenly shrunk a foot and developed HUGE pectoral muscles, or...! Finally, he worked up the courage to ask Ranma the question pounding through his brain.

"Uh...how...that is... (_gulp_) Pardon me for asking, but are you what I think you are?"

Ranma gave him a pained smile. "If you think I'm suddenly a lot more likely to look good in a bikini, then yeah... Look, could you please keep this a secret? As you can probably guess, turning into a girl isn't something I like to brag about."

Before Ichimonji could answer, a weak moaning sound arose from the ground a few feet away. Rubbing his head, Ichiro sat up and looked around, taking the unusual scene in.

"Oooooh! What happened?" he groaned. Upon seeing Megumi, though, he perked up considerably. "Meg! Oh, I'm so glad you're okay, and...? Hey, who's the new girl?"

"Well, um, she's..." Meg murmured, trying to come up with a decent fib. However, before she could finish her explanation, a cry rang out that made everyone's hair stand on end.

"Aiiyah! Girl-type Ranma!"

Time itself seemed to stop as Ranma nervously craned her neck around to look behind her. The pigtailed martial artist got goosebumps as she envisioned what she would see. "_There she'll be, standing next to the shed and looking cute as a button, if it weren't for the fact that she wants to kill me... She'll probably have those stupid bonbories with her, too, both of them with my name all over them!_"

Ranma grimaced as the Amazon came into view; her prediction had been entirely on the money, with one minor exception: she was holding _one_ bonbori instead of two. The ever-persistent Shampoo was wide awake, and (lucky her!) had just found her favorite playmate...

"Forget stupid pervert-girl! _You_ is most deserving of 'kiss of death', girl-type Ranma! **I kill!**"

Murder in her eyes, Shampoo threw the bonbori toward Ranma with deadly aim and accuracy!

"Yikes!" Ranma shouted. She allowed her reflexes to take over, nimbly hopping upward just in time to avoid the attack. Relief quickly turned to horror, however, as Ranma realized that Megumi was directly in the line of fire! Meg must have realized it too, because she shielded herself with her arms and braced for the worst.

Suspended helplessly in mid-air, Ranma could only watch as the deadly projectile sped toward her friend...

END OF CHAPTER 10

-

Hey, folks! I don't have a whole lot to say this time, but I do have a few little things to mention. First, a big "thank you" to all who reviewed the last chapter. Also, kudos to my readers who disagreed with how the Ranma-Genzo fight was going. With very few exceptions, you were polite and courteous about voicing your disagreement. This chapter was already finished when those reviews started rolling in, so I could have hinted at who the winner would be, but that's totally against my nature. Being "told how the movie ends" is my number one pet peeve; I don't like it being done to me, and I would never intentionally do it to you. With that said, I hope the results are to your liking!

For those of you who may have noticed, I have indeed fixed the errors produced by the uploading glitch. It was a lot of work, but I believe I have taken care of all the major problems.

As always, thanks for reading, and please review!


	11. And When It's Over

"_She's awake? What does it take to make that stupid bimbo stay down?_" Megumi thought, flabbergasted.

Luckily for Meg, Shampoo's ire wasn't directed at her anymore; sealing female Ranma's fate had suddenly become the Amazon's sole concern. At first Meg was puzzled by this shift of priority, but everything fell into place when she remembered Ranma's story about their first encounter in China.

The wounded angel felt profound sympathy for Ranma as the pigtailed punching bag wearily struck up her defensive stance. "_Poor Ranma... He's in no shape to handle this bimbo, and I'm in no position to help him! There has to be some way out of this..._"

Before Meg could plan an exit strategy, however, Shampoo decided to make her move!

"Forget stupid pervert-girl! _You_ is most deserving of 'kiss of death', girl-type Ranma! **I kill!**"

Meg's heart leaped to her throat as Ranma barely dodged the flying bonbori. However, her relief at his escape was short lived!

"_Oh my...! **It's coming straight toward me!**_"

With no time left to run, Meg instinctively shielded herself with her arms, closed her eyes tightly, and waited for the dreaded collision.

"**NO!**" a voice to her right screamed.

Shock filled Meg's face as she was suddenly knocked off her feet by a powerful force! She heard a whishing sound and a jet of air on her face as the bonbori whizzed by, missing her by only the smallest of margins.

"Oof!" she exclaimed as she hit the ground. Meg blinked once, then twice before she finally realized that she had been plucked out of harm's way. "Who...?" she mumbled as the figure lying on top of her raised itself up. To her great (but pleasant) surprise, Meg found herself staring into Ichiro's concerned face!

"Miss Megumi! Are you okay?" he panted, helping her to sit up.

"I'm fine, thanks to you!" she beamed. "With you around, who needs a knight on a white horse?"

Ichiro blushed and grinned from ear to ear, ecstatic to be receiving her praises. "Aw, it was nothing! I'm just glad you're-"

_**SPLAT!**_

(_I can guess what you're probably thinking: "Splat? Where the heck did that come from?"_

_Okay, let's rewind for just a minute. Remember that bonbori that Shampoo threw? The one that Ranma dodged right in the nick of time? The one that nearly knocked out Meg's teeth? Well, after barely missing Ms. Amatsuka, the pesky projectile kept going, smashing into the table that held Meg's birthday cake. The cake was lauched skyward, flying through the air and landing squarely on top of poor Ichiro and Meg! Which brings us back to where we were..._)

Everyone stared in stunned silence at the frosting-covered birthday girl and her equally "caked" savior. Meg was covered from head to toe in chocolate cake and white frosting. It was everywhere: on her clothes, all over her face, in her eyes, and tangled throughout her long hair. Ichiro was somewhat less hard-hit; his head and shoulders had been thoroughly bombarded by the flying dessert, but his lower body was mostly untouched. The two both wiped their eyes and carefully opened them.

"...Meg?" Ichiro finally ventured. "Are you okay?"

For a second, Megumi Amatsuka just stared at him blankly. Then... she started to giggle!

"Heh. Heh heh! Heh heh heh heh heh! Hee hee hee hee hee!"

Her guests all stared in amazement as the giggle quickly became hysterical, tear-filled laughter!

"Hahahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**"

Tears flowed from Meg's eyes as she guffawed uncontrollably. Finally, she doubled over and lay flat on her belly, hitting and kicking the ground like a hyperactive two-year-old.

"Wh-what's wrong with her?" Ryoga asked, baffled at her strange behavior.

"Isn't it obvious?" Miki snapped bitterly. "She's finally been driven insane by this absolute wreck of a birthday party! Her friends started a full-blown brawl, her house is a wreck, she's been injured, and now she's completely covered in her own birthday cake! That's enough to make any girl's brain blow a fuse! On top of that, it'll take hours to get all of that cake out of her hair..."

"Yikes! No kidding..." Akane winced, feeling pity for her convulsion-seized hostess.

Ichiro put his hand on her shoulder, struggling to find words that might somehow calm her. "Please don't cry, Miss Megumi. It-it's all going to be okay. If it makes you feel better, then go ahead and hit me as hard as you can!"

Megumi's laughter died down as her energy and lung power faded. Still giggling slightly, she wiped the tears from her eyes and looked up. To everyone's utter amazement, she had an elated smile on her face; in all the years that she had known Meg, Miki had never seen her happier!

"Who's crying?" Meg beamed. "**I'm** laughing! I haven't had this much fun since... heck, maybe since _ever_!"

"Y-you mean that you're not mad?" Ichimonji asked, surprised.

"No way!" she replied. "I mean, sure, things got dangerous for a little while, but since when has my life ever been normal or safe? In the last half-hour, I survived a leap from the roof of a three-story building, I fought the toughest opponent I've ever faced, and I got to enjoy my birthday cake without having to share it. I could ride a roller coaster for days without getting half as many thrills! Hahahahaha!"

Miki simply shook her head, a relieved smile on her face. "_Well, looks like I was wrong again..._" she thought whimsically. "_Every time I think I have Meg figured out, she throws me for another loop. I guess that's what I get for thinking of her as an average girl; she may have gotten more feminine over the years, but deep inside, Meg is still that tough little punk of a boy. Heh heh heh..._"

Akane let out a relieved sigh and wiped the sweat off her brow. "Whew... Thank goodness all of this is finally over!"

Just then, Akane felt something tugging at her sleeve. However, she wasn't quite prepared for what she saw when she looked down...

"What the... A barrel with arms?" she gasped, dumbfounded. All of the sudden, she saw two very familiar blue eyes peering out of a hole in the top.

"Psssst! Akane! Could you give me a hand?" girl-type Ranma whispered nervously.

Akane giggled, contemplating her options. "_This would be a great chance for me to tease Ranma, instead of the other way around, but I think the poor guy has gone through enough for one night._" To Ranma's great relief, she nodded, quickly ran into the house, and returned with a kettle of steaming water.

"Watch out; this might be a little hot," she warned, pouring it into the opening where she had seen the eyes.

Soon, the lid lifted up, and boy-type Ranma emerged from his makeshift disguise.

"Naw; it felt great," he replied, giving his fiancee a wide grin. Suddenly remembering his thoughts when Genzo had almost finished him, Ranma added, "You make a pretty cute kettle-girl, by the way."

Akane blushed. Praises from Ranma? Maybe Genzo hit him a little harder than she thought, but still... it was nice.

Ranma returned her smile before heading over to help Meg up. "That's one 'thing to do before I die' down, several to go..." he chuckled to himself. When he got to Meg's side, he found her still seated, smiling brightly.

"Welcome back, **Mr.** Saotome. Care for some cake?" she asked cryptically.

"Well, not really..." Ranma answered, confused. What was she getting at?

_**SPLAT!**_

"Too bad! Hahahahaha!" Meg chortled, pointing at Ranma's cake-smeared face.

As a food fight quickly erupted around the ruins of the birthday cake, Shampoo could only stare at Megumi in bewilderment. "_Sigh... It's times like this that I wish I had bothered to learn Japanese a little better. That girl almost had her head taken off by that bonbori, so why in the world is she laughing, much less playing in the cake? Is she...? She must be; that's the only explanation for it! Well, Great-grandmother always said to never pick on the mentally incompetent, so I guess I'll just cancel the Kiss of Death. I just wish that the female Ranma hadn't managed to sneak off again! Oh, well. I'll get her eventually; it's just a matter of time..._"

On that note, Shampoo vaulted over Meg's wall and disappeared into the night...

-

"So... he really didn't try to force himself on you? You're not just saying that to protect him?"

Meg sighed; Genzo had awoken a few minutes ago, and this was the fifteenth time she had explained it to him. "Genzo, he didn't do anything, honest! Like he said, we were having an argument when you opened the door; the rest was just a whole crapload of bad luck."

Genzo seemed to think this over, and finally nodded. "All right. I trust you, Meg; if that's how you say it happened, then that's good enough for me."

Turning to Ranma, he gave an embarassed bow. "Sorry, man. Maybe I **was** a little bit hasty. I apologize."

Ranma smiled solemnly. "Apology accepted, pal. Just don't let it happen again, okay? Then I might REALLY have to go hard on you! Hahahaha!"

Genzo laughed along with him, seeming to enjoy the little joke. However, his thoughts said otherwise: "_Oh, **THANK GOD** he accepted the apology! Fighting that freak again is the last thing in the world I want to do. Look at him: it's only been an hour since we fought, and he already seems good as new! Me... I still can't feel my face... or my chest... or my arms... or my legs, or _(okay, you get the point)"

"Well," Genzo said, "If everything's alright here, then I think I'll head home. Fighting is hard work, and besides, it's past my bedtime. Hahaha! See you guys later."

Right before he walked out the door, Genzo turned around for one last comment. "Thanks for inviting me to your party, Meg. Itwas a blast, and I just hope you'll forgive me for getting carried away."

"Ah, it's water under the bridge, Genzo. Don't worry about it," Meg said with a smile. "See you at school, Soga."

He gave her a big grin and casually walked out the door. After it shut, everybody breathed a sigh of relief.

"Whew!" Meg sighed. "For a while there, I wasn't sure I would be able to convince him. I know Genzo means well, but sometimes he can be a real pain in the anus."

Ranma laughed as he added, "And the nose, and the ribs, and the stomach, and..."

Everybody laughed as Ranma gingerly pointed out his bruises. Finally, Meg spoke up.

"Guys, Akane, Miki: I want to thank you all for coming to my party. Like Genzo said, it was a real blast, and I have you all to thank for that. Birthday number 16 was one I'll never forget! Still, all good things must come to an end. I hate to run you all off, but the help and I have a disaster zone of a yard to clean up."

Everyone nodded in understanding, and (saying their goodbyes) they all started walking out the door. Before they could exit, however, Meg's voice rang out, "Ranma! Before you leave, I want to have a word with you."

-

Ranma cringed. Akane looked at him quizzically, but he waved her out the door. She shrugged and walked outside with the others.

"_I wonder what she wants to talk to him about?_" she wondered. "_She might fuss at him or make him help clean up, which I guess he does deserve. Still, it wasn't all his fault this time around..._"

Akane's thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of a hand touching her shoulder. She looked up to see Ichimonji smiling at her.

"Miss Tendo, I wanted to thank you for your help earlier," he said warmly. "That took a lot of courage, and it really saved my bacon. Thank you."

Akane blushed and returned his smile. "_Whoah... I never noticed before now, but this guy's a hunk! Be still my beating heart..._"

"You're welcome," she replied with a laugh. "I'm just sorry I didn't jump in sooner!"

He shook his head. "No way. You went way above and beyond the call of duty just by doing what you did. Oh, before I forget: tell Ranma that his secret is safe with me. He doesn't have to worry, because I'm a man of my word. Hahaha... Keeping weird secrets is getting to be old hat to me, anyway!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Ichimonji saw Ryoga walking toward him. When he turned around, he was surprised to see that the young man was bowing.

"I'd like to apologize," Ryoga said quietly. "It looks like I've trained my body to the neglect of my spirit, because my actions tonight were not those of an honorable martial artist. I hope you'll forgive me..."

Ichimonji nodded. "Absolutely. Everybody messes up now and again, and you've already shown moral backbone by acknowledging what you did was wrong. Forgiven and forgotten!"

Ryoga straightened back up, looking very pleased. "Glad to hear it! Well, folks, I think I'll head home. I should probably start now to give myself plenty of time. See ya!"

With that, Ryoga walked off into the darkness... going 180 degrees from where he should be walking. Akane thought about yelling after him to turn around, but decided to let him be.

"_Poor Ryoga..._" she giggled. "_If I told him where he was supposed to go, it would probably take him twice as long to get there._"

-

_Meanwhile, back inside the house..._

Ranma gulped as he stood in the entryway alone with his friend. Well, his one-time-friend, at least...

"_She's really gonna let me have it,_" he thought miserably. "_Underneath that 'happy' routine is probably a raging volcano about to blow its top! Can't say I blame her, though. What was I thinking bringing Shampoo and Ryoga along? Those two cause serious collateral damage to the Tendo house all the time, so I don't know why I thought they would act any differently here. Me and my stupid friends wrecked her house, almost got her killed, and destroyed her cake..._"

Ranma walked toward Megumi, his eyes downcast. He was bracing himself for the worst chewing-out he had ever received in his life, which is what made her next three words so surprising:

"Ranma, I'm sorry."

"You're right, Meg. It's all my fault and I- what did you say?" he almost choked.

"I said I'm sorry," she said sheepishly. "To tell the truth, I didn't completely believe you when you told me about all that had happened to you."

This caught Ranma by surprise; he wasn't angry about it, just curious. "Why not? It seems like you've had plenty of weird stuff happen to you."

"I know, but nothing like what you experienced!" she said loudly. "I mean, what do I honestly have to complain about? Sure, I'm stuck as a girl and have way too many boys chasing after me, and those two things really suck. Still, I don't have to worry about Chinese assassins, rivals that can toss statues like they were toys, or crazy girls trying to use paralysis gas on me! It seemed like such a wild story that I thought you must have been making a lot of it up, or at least exaggerating. Now, I know better. Tonight I got a taste of what you have to go through every day, and I have to say I'm glad it's you and not me!"

"Ha! Are you kidding!" Ranma exclaimed. "Ryoga and Shampoo can be real pains, but they've not nothing on Genzo. He's like Kuno pumped full of steriods! Also, your curse is way worse than mine. In a 'that sucks' contest, 'permanent' beats 'water-based' every time!"

Meg grinned slightly. "Looks like we've both finally realized how tough each other's life really is, eh, Ranma? To tell the truth, I doubt anyone else really **could** understand what we go through."

"If there is someone else out there, I haven't met him or her yet," Ranma replied matter-of-factly. Suddenly, his face lit up as if he just remembered something important. "Hey, hold on a second, Meg! I have something for you."

He quickly ran to the door, opened it, and poked his head out.

"Hey, Akane!" he whispered. "Do you still have Meg's present in your purse?"

"That's right! I do!" she gasped. She quickly pulled it out and handed it to Ranma. He grabbed it and ran back inside, stopping in front of Meg with it held behind his back.

"Happy birthday!" he exclaimed, presenting it to her.

Megumi took the present from his outstretched hand. It was an envelope, with "From: Ranma Saotome, To: Megumi Amatsuka" written on the front.

She smiled at the kind gesture. "Thanks, Ranma. I appreciate it! You didn't have to, though. I'm not trying to brag, but my family probably makes more in a day than yours does in a month, so I hope you didn't put a lot of money inside of this."

Ranma shook his head. "Nah. I know your family is loaded; it's a different kind of present. Well, Meg, I'll see you around."

She was a little surprised to see him walking off so suddenly. "Hey, aren't you going to stay around while I open it?"

Ranma's only reply was a wide smile and a wave goodbye. He shut the door behind him, but a few seconds later it swung open and Miki stepped in.

"All right, Meg! I want all of the juicy details!" she bubbled. "What did you say to him? Did you tell him you loved him? IsRanma 'the one'? Also, what's in that envelope?"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah!" Meg said, holding her hands up defensively. "No 'professions of love' were made in _this_ entryway! We're friends, and _just_ friends. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for not believing him when it came to his weird acquaintances. I'd say that what we saw tonight was enough to prove that he was telling the truth, right?"

Miki looked a little disappointed. "So much for steamy romance. Oh, well. You still haven't answered one of my questions, though: what's in the envelope?"

"I don't know either; I haven't opened it yet," Meg replied. She carefully tore the envelope open with her finger, and pulled out the card inside.

She was a little disappointed at first; it was just your typical "Happy Birthday" card with a corny joke on it. However, when she opened it a piece of paper and a ring fell out.

Miki quickly picked up the ring and held it up for Meg to see. "It's kinda plain, but it _is_ pretty. I think it's silver," Miki said, examining it closely.

"It's nice; 'simple yet elegant', or something like that," Meg giggled. However, she was far more curious about Ranma's letter than she was about the jewelry. While Miki continued going over the ring with a fine-toothed comb, Megumi unfolded the paper and began reading...

END OF CHAPTER 11

-

Don't worry, folks! I'm not going to leave you hanging for another week; the twelfth and final chapter is only a click away.


	12. Ranma's Letter and Epilouge

Dear Meg,

I hope your birthday has been a great one. Since I plan to give you this right before I leave, though, I guess it's a bit of a moot point. I hope you like the ring; being optimistic, I tried to pick something you could still use if and when you become a guy again. To tell the truth, though, that ring isn't my real present to you.

"What do you get someone who already has everything?" That's the question I had to keep asking myself when I was looking for a present. Finally, I did think of something that you could use, and don't have much of: encouragement. I know you're thinking "How corny is this?", but please hear me out.

The night after I got my curse had to be the most lonely, hopeless, miserable night of my entire life. I fell into the "spring of drowned girl" earlier that afternoon; as you know from experience, it's quite a switch. My center of gravity had shifted, throwing me off-balance, my voice had risen an octave, I had shrunk a foot, I had gained some new organs, and I lost a few others. Despite these major changes, I still had enough fight left in me to do my darndest to murder my Pop. He reminds me a lot of your dad; when he isn't planning something devious, he's not planning at all. He hauled me to China without a moment's forethought, and at the time I placed 100 percent of the blame for my curse on him. I chased Pop all over Jusenkyo, but that old panda was quicker than he looked. Around twilight, he finally managed to escape me. While I was hunting for him, a really nasty storm came up, and I had to hide in a cave for the night.

I had never been so miserable in my whole life. Pop had raised me to be a tough guy, the strong young man who would one day take over the school for him. Most of the time I act like I don't care much about that, but the truth is that the martial arts have been my entire life for the past ten years. I never could have endured what I did if carrying on the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts hadn't been so important to me. Now how was I supposed to be "the one to carry on"? How was a weak little girl, shivering in a cave and trying not to cry, supposed to carry on an entire tradition in the martial arts? Finally, I gave in to my despair and lost hope entirely. I sat there, my knees drawn up to my face, and cried my eyes out; it was the first time I had cried since I left my mother ten years ago. Then, the cave suddenly seemed to get a little brighter. At first I thought it was my imagination, but when I turned around, I saw a panda standing in the mouth of the cave, holding a lantern, a kettle, and an armload of firewood.

As you probably guessed, it was Pop. Although he can be a real jerk, the old man ain't completely heartless. Once that storm came up, he decided that he'd better come find me. Together, we fixed a fire and warmed up a kettle of water. Neither one of us spoke; him because it was physically impossible for him to, and me because I didn't know what to say. Once the kettle started steaming, he used sign language to tell me to pour some on myself. That kind of puzzled me, but I did like he said. Hahaha... I was so happy with the results that I almost squeezed him to death! I poured some on him, too, and listened as he explained how hot and cold water were going to affect us from now on. Although I was ecstatic that I wasn't stuck as a girl, I became really depressed again when I realized that I wasn't permanently a guy, either. The two of us just sat staring at the fire for a while, until finally Pop spoke up. Genma Saotome hasn't always been a model father to me; in fact, the exact opposite is probably true, but he made up for every bit of it in those few minutes. I'll never forget what he told me; they were words I'll be grateful for 'till the day I die.

He said, "I know things are hard on you right now, my son. Over the past decade, you've gone through a lot for the sake of the Art. You did it willingly, because you had the conviction to dedicate your life to becoming a great martial artist, a true man among men. Now, with a half-girl body, it all seems like a big waste, doesn't it?"

I hung my head in shame; the old man had really hit the nail on the head. Pop wasn't about to let me sulk, though; he put both hands on my shoulders and forced me to look him in the eye.

"Listen to me, boy, because this might be the most important thing I ever teach you," he said. "A little dunk in cursed water doesn't make you any less of a man. In fact, the exact opposite could wind up being true. You see, Ranma, sometimes the true 'man among men' isn't the biggest, strongest, toughest, or even necessarily a man at all. The true man among men is he who does what a real man is supposed to do: protect the weak, be chivalrous toward women and polite toward men, and (above all) endure, no matter what the hardship."

I looked at my Pop in shock, scarcely able to believe my ears. "Hold on, Pop! Are you trying to tell me that this curse doesn't make me any less manly?"

He nodded solemnly. "That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you, my son. The true measure of a man is how he deals with bad situations: the weak man runs, hides, and gives up, but the man among men holds his head high and endures his suffering with dignity. I know what kind of man I raised you to be; what kind you become will depend on what you intend to do from here. So, what will it be, Ranma? Are you going to let this curse dictate who you are, or will you choose to overcome it?"

I've known my father my entire life, and I had never heard him be that kind before. If he had simply wanted to not lose his heir, he could have simply made fun of me. Eventually, I would have gotten mad enough that I would train like a lunatic, just to prove him wrong. He didn't do that. He spoke to me not as master to student, but as father to son, and (like I said) I'll never forget it. To state the ridiculously obvious, I told him that I would overcome my curse, and I've been doing my best to live up to that vow since then.

I thought that you might need to hear that conversation; being stuck as a girl 24-7, I know it must be even harder for you to hold onto your identity than it is for me. Meg, I don't know what the future holds. We might get cured tomorrow, or we might carry these curses around for the rest of our lives; it looks like whether or not we'll find a cure is all going to be up to chance. I guess we'll just have to keep hoping and praying for a lucky break. In the meantime, though, keep doing what you have been doing: stand up for the oppressed, kick some bad-guy butt, and never give up; in other words, keep being a man among men, Megumi Amatsuka. I'll do my best to be one, too, and remember that if things ever seem hopeless, just remember that there's at least one person out there who can sympathize, who knows what you're going through. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask.

-Your friend, Ranma Saotome

-

Meg quietly folded the letter back up and placed it in its envelope. She held the letter close to her heart, thinking about its contents.

"Hey, Meg! How much do you think this-" Miki stopped in mid-sentence and stared at her friend in surprise. "Meg, you're crying!"

"What?" Meg gasped, surprised. She quickly turned around and wiped the tears away. "Nah; just had something in my eye, that's all."

Miki knew a lie when she heard it, but decided not to press the matter. "What did he have to say, anyway?" she asked softly.

Meg turned back around, a warm smile on her face. "Not much," she answered. "Just kind words... from a friend."

THE END

Well, there it is in giant, underlined print: the end. I hope you guys and gals have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I want to sincerely thank all my readers and reviewers for making this story such a huge success. For a guy used to single-digit reviews, this was truly a mind-blowing experience. Before leaving you, I'm going to throw in just a pinch of shameless self-promotion: if you liked this story, give my other fics a shot. In particular, I'd like to recommend my "Ranma-Excel Saga" fic to those of you with a bizarre sense of humor.

Lastly, let me ask you a question: would any of you be interested in a sequel? If you _are_ interested, I have a few ideas rolling around in my head (they make an annoying rattling sound). It might be a month or so before I get started on it, however, as I'm determined to finish my other Ranma fic first. Anyway, tell me what you think. Gracias, merci, arigato gozaimasu, and thanks a million to all of you!


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